Episode Title: “Fuck the Pain Away”
Writer: Angela Robinson
Director: Michael Ruscio
Previously on “True Blood”:
Oh good, “True Blood” has finally gotten so NSFW that we’re not even allowed to use the full title of the episode on the homepage. After last week’s devolution into pre-teen sex predator territory, I guess that was the only line left for this series to cross.
On the upside, “Fuck the Pain Away” (haha, the body of the article is fair game, you sons of bitches!) is the best episode of Season 6 so far, advancing the story – except for the lame-ass werewolf subplot – and raising the stakes for everyone – except in the lame-ass werewolf subplot – and full of startling revelations – except during the lame-ass werewolf subplot.
Did I mention the werewolf subplot is lame-ass? This week, Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) and Nicole Wright (Jurnee Smollett-Bell of the delightfully awful Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor, now available on home video!) get dressed and talk about their feelings for a few seconds. Meanwhile, Alcide Herveaux is still looking for them, and he gives his dad (Robert Patrick) money to stay in a hotel. You could cut the tension with a knife, if there were any tension.
Meanwhile – and there are a lot of “meanwhiles” on “True Blood,” so just strap in – Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) has Warlow (Rob Kazinsky) cornered and demands an explanation for the whole “killing her parents and trying to seduce her” thing. Warlow claims he killed Sookie’s parents to save her life, because they were trying to kill her themselves. That’s a little hard to believe, what with Sookie never knowing about it or anything, but before she can wheedle him for more answers, Billith arrives and orders Warlow – as his maker (the Billith thing has its advantages) – to leave Sookie and come to his underground laboratory for exposition purposes.
This all leads to a flashback to thousands of years ago, where Lillith seduces Warlow away from his clan of cave faeries and claims God told her he would be the savior of the vampire race. She turns Warlow into a vampire, who comes back and slaughters his entire clan (except for baby Niall, aw… he’s so cute), and then kills Lillith because he’s understandably pissed off about all that. Warlow doesn’t particularly care for vampires, and like vampires he has some impulse control issues around faeries.
Speaking of which, Jessica Hamby (Deborah Ann Woll) feels pretty darned guilty about killing all the Bellefleuer kids, and spends most of the episode wrestling with her own faith and wondering if vampires are really as evil as humanity thinks they are. She tries to talk to Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten) about, but he was in the middle of having heterosexual God sex with Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp), who has both of “Fuck the Pain Away’s” best lines: “When a woman comes to you in black lingerie, you unwrap her” and “I truly believe God wants me to fuck you.” It’s like she read the Jason Stackhouse Guidebook.
Spurned by Governor Burrell (Arilss Howard), Sarah turns to Jason for hot lovin’, but when she finds out he’s been dating a vampire, she’s understandably pissed off and gets Jessica arrested. Also, she somehow uninvited Jessica from Jason’s house, which I didn’t know you could do. Did she buy his house? Anyway, Jessica goes to the vampire concentration camp, where Pam De Beaufort (Kristin Bauer van Straten), Tara Thornton (Rutina Wesley) and Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård) have all taken up residence as well. Pam goes into psychotherapy at gunpoint with Pruitt Taylor-Vince, Eric wins the racketball shootout challenge and Jessica feels so darned guilty, damn it. So darned, darned guilty. It’s a rough day all around for everyone.
Speaking of rough days, Andy Bellefleuer finds the bodies of his daughters, and discovers that one of them is still alive. He takes her away, heals her with “V” and plans to take revenge on “Vampire Bill” but of course he gets talked out of it because that’s not going to happen and obviously he’d get killed. Sookie turns to Lafayette Reynolds (Nelsan Ellis) to help contact her dead parents and confirm or deny Warlow’s story. First the bad news: they really were going to kill her, and her dad takes over Lafayette’s body and tries to drown her again, just to prevent Warlow from turning her into a vampire. The good news: it seems like a nice day outside.
The episode ends with Sarah, Burrell and Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) putting Eric and Pam in a room together and forcing them to fight to the death, which is a pretty crap situation but at least it leads to the episode’s third best line, also courtesy of Ms. Newlin: “Haven’t you seen Gladiator? Fuckin’ fight!”
“Fuck the Pain Away” takes this season of “True Blood” in some interesting new directions, reversing our opinions of Sookie’s parents and Warlow, and having a lot of fun showing the different ways vampires are being oppressed by their human captors. It could have been a grim slog, but the characters all approach their incarceration in different ways that entertain, amuse and boost the drama where necessary. Also, Sarah Newlin has turned out to be the most energized member of the “True Blood” cast since Russell Edgington first showed up, so at least this season’s (apparent) big bad can hold our attentions long enough to forgive the terrible time-wasting werewolf tediousness.
All told, a pretty good episode of “True Blood,” and enough to instill a sense of hope that Season Six is finally going to pick up the pace a bit. Finally.
William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline’s Film Channel and co-host of The B-Movies Podcast. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
