NBA Playoffs 2014: Why Chicago Won't Win The NBA Finals

One could argue there is little parity in the NBA. Sure, you have your conspiracy theorists out there: David Stern and the frozen envelope that ensured Patrick Ewing to the Knicks, having the referees fixing games to ensure the Lakers do well, practically anything Michael Jordan …

But the numbers even back up the lack of parity theory, regardless of the crazy conspiracy lovers abroad.

A fun-filled stat for you — top NBA seeds lose in the first round only 8% of the time. That number compares to 26% in the NHL, 27% in the NFL (following byes) and 37% in MLB.

Fact of the matter is, in the NBA — more so than any other sport — one player can further drastically effect the result of a game. You have one major star and you have a shot at going all the way. Unfortunately there aren’t many pure ‘stars’ available.

Call us pessimists, but parity is especially lacking in this year’s playoffs. Therefore, we’re giving you the down-low on why your team essentially has no chance of going all the way. After all, facts are facts, and the NBA is the easiest of the American sports to predict come playoff time.

And just to prove we’re not bias, we’re starting with my favorite team, the Chicago Bulls.

Why the Chicago Bulls won’t win the 2014 NBA Finals

… That is what Chicago is averaging on offense per game, last in the NBA. They shoot a league-worst 43.2 percent from the floor.

I’m not talking Disney — it’s literally still frozen in Chicago. It’s hard to get excited about anything in life when it’s April 19 and you’re still going through the worst winter in nearly 40 years.

Kind of a big deal. You know, MVP-worthy and all.

He’s a fine player, averaging 14.9 ppg. But Augustin was let go by Indiana in July and cut by Toronto in December. He only signed with the Bulls because of Derrick Rose’s knee injury.

I know, the Bulls actually got better by trading Deng to Cleveland … supposedly. Their defense improved numbers wise, but losing one of the best defensive guards in the NBA has to hurt at some point. And oh ya, Deng was the second-leading scorer on the team behind Derrick Rose. Yup, the Bulls are without their top two leading scorers from the beginning of the season (Rose: 15.9 ppg over 10 games, and Deng: 19 ppg over 23 games).

Not only have the Bulls not been to the NBA Finals since Jordan’s retirement out of Chicago following the 1998 playoffs, but the Bulls have only made the conference finals just once in that time, losing to Miami in five games in 2011.

This actually has no relevance whatsoever. The President is a Bulls fan. Half the country likes to blame Obama for everything. I figured I would hop on the bandwagon.

Why we are wrong.

… What the Bulls allow per game. The Bulls have the best defense in the NBA. Opponents only shoot 43 percent against them.

They only have 3 losses in their last 13 games and went 3-2 against playoff teams in that span, defeating Indiana, Atlanta and Washington. They haven’t lost consecutive games since Feb. 1-3. If LeBron gets injured in Miami — God forbid — the floodgates could open wide to the hottest team in the NBA.

P.S. watching this makes me cry in a way my grandma laments over the 50s, saying to herself, “God, those were good days.” … The 90s, Bulls fans, God, those were good days.