Photo: Lionsgate
They say it’s not the suit that makes the man, but maybe it’s the number of suits he can afford, which brings us to the question: Why do so many of the best actors make the worst movies? Ones we can’t believe they agreed to make, no less.
It’s like when Michael Jordan came back a second time after winning six titles, countless MVP awards both in the regular season and the finals, yet the number of rings couldn’t keep him from joining a crap team for a year before calling it quits again. The same goes with these great actors, who, for some reason, don’t have the wherewithal or staff to know better.
Some might say it’s for a love of the craft, but nobody who saw these movies loved anything.
There’s always a payday out there if you’re Morgan Freeman or Robert De Niro, always somebody who wants to cast Johnny Depp in their big piece of shit. So why sign up with a bad script, crap cast or a cheesy old-man movie when you could do something else? Or is the movie industry that dry? You tell us.
We Can’t Believe These Great Actors Made These Garbage Movies
Update: Kevin Spacey has bigger issues to worry about now other than a garbage movie he made, that’s for sure.
More random hilarity here: Social Cleansing: 10 Kinds of Facebook Friends You’re Free to Delete
Major Actor Flops
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Kevin Spacey in "Nine Lives"
It's hard to have a suspension of reality when you go from the ruthless, cut-throat Frank Underwood to a movie whose slogan was, "His life just got put on paws." Agreed?
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Ryan Gosling in "Gangster Squad"
When you're the guy all women (and plenty of men) want, you don't go out and make some cheesy gangster movie. Johnny Depp already crushed that with Public Enemies. Why would you go do anything less?
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Al Pacino in "Manglehorn"
Photo: IFC Films
This photo says it all. The fall from grace has been steep with Pacino, despite some great sporadic roles.
In this film, he plays a locksmith who regrets some of his life decisions. I wonder if making this movie was one of those regrets.
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Morgan Freeman in "The Magic of Belle Island"
Photo: Magnolia Pictures
He's very prolific, almost to a fault, that Morgan Freeman. Whoever his agent is, they probably could've steered him away from cheesy roles like this and Dolphin's Tale, along with general bad ideas like Now You See Me 2. Yeah, we see you, Morgan. Maybe too often.
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Samuel L. Jackson in "Barely Lethal"
Photo: DirecTV Cinema
Speaking of "too often," we could go on for days about the Nick Fury and "Star Wars" of it all, but the guy who's in everything is starting to make movies that are combinations of movies he's already done. Barely Lethal, hilariously, is like his role as Nick Fury as if it were set inside a poor sorority-style spin-off of 21 Jump Street. Enough already. You're smart, go do some more commercials if the money is that important.
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Denzel Washington in "The Taking Of Pelham 123"
Photo: Columbia Pictures
We're not sure it's the movie itself that was a bad idea, but just the thought of aligning yourself next to Travolta in his declining years, both professionally and realistically is something Denzel shouldn't have done.
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Johnny Depp in "Mortdecai"
Depp is no stranger to the tide of bad roles and movie flops outside of his Jack Sparrow costume and a few solid real-life mob characters. But with "Pirates" starting to take a dip, he's back at it with maybe his worst movie yet, Mortdecai, which was somehow rumored to get a sequel. I couldn't get through the first half hour.
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George Clooney in "Batman & Robin"
Photo: Warner Bros.
It's no secret that Batman & Robin was potentially the worst blockbuster of the last 20 years, but it's true that Clooney is self-aware that his role as the Batman was easily the worst idea anyone ever had.
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Michael Caine in "Going in Style"
Maybe one of our favorite older actors, right up there with Jack Nicholson and Robert Redford, is Michael Caine. He's been nothing but class out the ass, which might be why someone saw it fitting to put that guy in a cheesy old-man movie about "going out in style." Didn't need to happen, but we hope it was fun, Michael. We hope it was fun.
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Robert De Niro in "Dirty Grandpa"
Robert De Niro, the Oscar winning actor who was in classic films like Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver and The Godfather: Part II decided to go shirtless in a movie about being old during spring break with Zac Efron. Oh boy.
