This Week’s 20 Funniest Tweets 9-1-17

Header Photo: Bethany Clarke (Getty) / tinyobscurae‏ (Twitter)

Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends later and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.

Follow @robfee on Twitter.

Funny Tweets 9-1-17

Today I took yearbook photos of my fish pic.twitter.com/KkNz9jqqq9

— Alec Ploof (@AlecPloof) August 26, 2017

Is that Michael Scott https://t.co/wDkn1Rnoqq

— uncle skeddy (@stvcee) August 26, 2017

please stop bullying him he’s trying his best ok pic.twitter.com/grZZ46WZZV

— goth turtle (@dubstep4dads) August 28, 2017

Billy Corgan – “The world is a vampire”

Crowd – “wooooooooo”

Neil DeGrasse Tyson [loudly from back] “no it isn’t”

— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) July 22, 2017

that’s what you get for inventing calculus pwussyboi https://t.co/gpp0OaCvr6

— Azor Ahai (@StainGod_) September 21, 2016

Ya MCM got a fake Apple Watch & it electrocuted him. He passed out in his car Monday & you tweeting “it is what it is” cause he ignoring you

— Will (@Iadeuxieme) August 25, 2017

My Fav video atm pic.twitter.com/cHgIWX9ZxU

— heMmdi (@WvyDon) August 21, 2017

Wish we could see what story they’re reading on the back pic.twitter.com/QcWdzhEWnw

— Brendan O’Hare (@brendohare) August 23, 2017

my future wife is probably with her boyfriend right now thinking it’s gonna last forever and shit lmfao ill see you in a few years bitch

— ➞ (@vinnycrack) August 16, 2017

I had heard Dunkin Donuts was changing their name but I wasn’t expecting this pic.twitter.com/EEic5ocSG4

— pat tobin (@tastefactory) August 27, 2017

i thought this was trump https://t.co/wcLm3A7kuf

— Tré Melvin (@TreMelvin) July 30, 2017

PF Chang’s waiter: “[Recites specials] Stephen A. Smith: (Acts surprised) “To me, that’s preposterous. Crab Rangoon, things of that nature.”

— David Roth (@david_j_roth) June 13, 2012

[Commercial for Gift Cards]

Hi there. Do you want to give money to your friends, but just honestly prefer they spend it at Applebee’s?

— P o n k (@P_o_n_k) August 13, 2017

I just read that people born in the 80s are known in hungary as “the ducktales generation”, I never want to hear “millennial” ever again ok

— tinyobscurae (@tinyobscurae) August 24, 2017

[covers up wife to flex in every pic] pic.twitter.com/HLOFcJB4tm

— Dr. Pimp (@C2Mhud) August 10, 2017

One last ride. pic.twitter.com/FjpI8VMZUg

— Ethan Klein (@h3h3productions) August 8, 2017

Ever show ur mum a tweet that u find funny and instead of laughing she just asks ‘who’s that?’ Like I don’t know but that’s not the point

— K S (@kirsty_sxo) January 7, 2017

Bitches always taking pictures of the steering wheel.. take a picture of the dash sis 240,800 miles traction service engine soon

— wifey (@amara_hendrix) August 22, 2017