Header Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP (Getty) / gabrielle coffee (Twitter)
Another week, another batch of the funniest tweets collected for your viewing pleasure. Give them a read, and remember to follow these fine folks on Twitter. They’re not just putting their hilarious thoughts out there for their health, after all. Plus, if you’re just going to wind up repeating these jokes to your friends later and passing them off as your own, the least you can do is throw a little admiration their way. It’s only fair.
Follow @robfee on Twitter.
Funny Tweets 7-21-17
my mom yesterday: do u work tomorrow
me: yes
my mom today: do u work today
me: yes i already told u
my mom when i’m at work: where are u
— Semra (@SemraDurmisevic) July 15, 2017
When sequels go bad… pic.twitter.com/FjfBdYoWlF
— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) July 10, 2017
bruh pic.twitter.com/cZipzS80rL
— valentina!! (@visionarez) July 13, 2017
imagine the Snapchat investors asking the CEO what he’s got planned to stop the stock from plummeting & he pulls up this mf on a powerpoint pic.twitter.com/d6qenVQUtA
— jack wagner (@jackdwagner) July 10, 2017
amazon ceo
1998 “i sell books”
2017 “i sell what the fuck i want” pic.twitter.com/POkRjJTupS
— laura (@tokyocatgirl) July 15, 2017
Should I take my dog to the vet pic.twitter.com/CHiW4C6fQz
— Klocke (@miketotheklocke) July 12, 2017
oh, so when a bird does it it’s news pic.twitter.com/K7ScfVLFPr
— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) July 13, 2017
“Go back to bed. This doesn’t concern you.” pic.twitter.com/53L15p5iXU
— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) July 13, 2017
LMAO THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY pic.twitter.com/n2HNw4DFFJ
— Carter Rodríguez (@Carter_Shade) July 13, 2017
2017 rappers:
look at my dick ay
xans get me lit ayy
glock in the whip AY
boutta b rich AYY
hand on her clit AYYY
i fucked ur bitch AYEEE— Reyna (44 Savage) (@thenudequeen) July 14, 2017
My mom is extremely good at Facebook pic.twitter.com/7hzNuPFIx6
— Eleanor Davis (@squinkyelo) July 15, 2017
I relate to the Chainsmokers music cuz one time my dad didn’t let me borrow his Range Rover so I moved to France
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) July 13, 2017
You know you’ve had enough tequila when your fidget spinner makes you puke.
— кєℓℓαℓєηα (@topaz_kell) July 20, 2017
Star Wars, but all of the light saber sounds are Owen Wilson saying “wow” pic.twitter.com/t5Yll0AV4h
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) July 14, 2017
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/gw9BKjKmaH
— Daniel (@MyFavsTrash) July 15, 2017
Presumably good at helping people stay alive. pic.twitter.com/xvj0jF3lJh
— Andrew Dennison (@CharlieBeatnik) July 14, 2017
Coworker: omg text me anytime you need a shift covered
Me: can you work today
Coworker: omg sorry my uncles hamster is in town or I would— gabrielle coffee (@gabriellecoffee) July 11, 2017
Kill me for saying this, but I think the #brand won this exchange pic.twitter.com/KpHUFdWWhX
— Ari Schulman (@AriSchulman) July 15, 2017
Once I made fun of a movie on here and the woman who wrote it followed me for 6 months and only faved 1 tweet, where I said I’d gotten sick
— Kath Barbadoro (@kathbarbadoro) July 17, 2017
How do girls find these fine, established, smart men during college? Like half my guy friends smash beer off their foreheads
— Larisa (@LarisaSchock) July 9, 2017
