Photo: Olaf Selchow (Getty)
Like you didn’t already feel ancient when we told you your teen heartthrobs were old as hell? Now we have to go and remind you of all the things that happened 15 years ago so you really feel old as hell. Whether you were a fan of Britney or “Dirrty” Christina, thought Ben Affleck was talented or were smart enough to know better, or if you just enjoyed watching Michael Jackson almost drop babies off hotel balconies, 2002 was an intensely interesting time to be alive. But now these things are mostly obsolete.
The popular music (Eminem), hot movies (George Lucas Star Wars) and winning sports teams (Lakers) were very different back then. Some of it was actually good, especially since autotune wasn’t quite what it is now. Although, Nickelback was running the radio so it’s hard to say if things were better. What we do know is these things we’re about to show you are vital reminders and tangible proof that you are in fact 15 years older than you were in 2002, and that you’re incredibly old as hell. But then again, we still have Stars Wars, Jason Bourne, James Bond, Spider-Man and the Patriots winning the Super Bowel, so who the hell knows?
These Things Happened 15 Years Ago, And Now You’re Old As Hell
For something even older, try: A 32-Year-Old Man Gets Way Too Honest About His Trip to See ‘Beauty and the Beast’ in Theaters
15 Years Ago & You're Old
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JT and Britney Split
Photo: Pinterest
The end of NSYNC wasn't the only thing starting up in 2002, but also the hottest couple in pop culture. It seems like he's come a long way with his music and relationships. And she...well, JT seems to be doing well. But, Sarah Michelle Gellar married Freddie Prinze Jr. so they're ancient.
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Ben Affleck Is Sexiest Man of the Year
Photo: People
Really? He was like the most hated actor when Dazed and Confused came out. We'll admit we like him now (except his talk with Bill Maher) with his acting and directing. I mean, who doesn't love Batman?
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Apple Release Second iPod
Photo: via icareapplebd.com
You never buy the first, got to let them work out those bugs. Hard to imagine life before iPods. What were we using before, the walkman?
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MJ Dangles a Baby Prince Over a Balcony
Photo: via Daily Mail
What else would you do for a crowd of civilians outside your hotel room than dangle a baby over the railing? This was around the time we realized Michael Jackson was a little off the rails. That, and the whole kiddie park thing.
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'Harry Potter,' 'Star Wars' and 'Lord of the Rings' Released Second Installments
Photo: via alchetron.com
The sci-fi fantasy and comic book nerds were creaming their undies in 2002 when Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, and Stars Wars released their second installments. And now they're doing Star Wars: Episode 72 so that only makes us feel older.
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The Lakers Were Good
Photo: via Daily Mail
Remember when the Los Angeles Lakers were good? That's because they had Shaq (burn! Kobe). That was also the last season Michael Jordan returned to remind us of his greatness, especially when MJ broke the record, scoring 51 points at nearly 40 years old.
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Eminem Was Still New
Photo: via eminem.com
Eminem commanded record sales with his third LP The Eminem Show in 2002 with 8 million sales. Nobody sells even half that now. Thanks, record industry!
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Crank Yankers' Graced Our Presence
Special Ed became a vital fixture of our lives when Crank Yankers premiered. And Anna Nicole got her own show. Yeah, she's gone now, but you forgot that.
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Kelly Clarkson Won the First 'American Idol'
Photo: via People
It's hard to imagine such a pointless show could be so old, but after finally wrapping in 2016, we're fully aware of its contribution to the beginning of reality TV. Or as we like to call it, the black plague of modern America.
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Nickelback Was Everywhere
Chad Kroger kept singing about how you remind him of who he really is, and all he kept reminding us of is how much we hate him and his music, every damn time we turned on the radio. That was the year silence became golden.
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U2 Wasn't Completely Hated Yet
Photo: Getty Images
Before they went ahead and assumed (with Apple) that everyone wanted their music automatically uploaded on their phone, U2 was only half bad. This Super Bowl Halftime Show was the start of the other half turning bad. Let us ask you this, Bono, would you be excited if someone assumed you wanted a child that isn't yours and just left it at your front door? No, you'd go through a lot of trouble to get rid of it, just like we did when you killed our phones with your music.
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Avril Debuted
Photo: via Wikipedia
Speaking of Chad Kroger, he somehow got Avril on his side. I remember working in a bookstore when she came in. She was really cute until I learned about her personal life.
