Photo: Netflix
Yes, there are plenty of addictive TV shows to binge on, but that doesn’t mean you should binge on all of them. While a quick trot down memory lane with The Golden Girls or dip in the nostalgic pool with your favorite Friends can be fun, we simply cannot endorse the hardcore bender of some unacceptable popular television. You know what we’re talking about: your TV skeletons that are coming out of the closet.
Even if you were a Full House lover as a child, plowing through two seasons of Fuller House (before going through them again) is not what we call healthy adult activities. We picture you curled up on the couch with two (yes, two) glasses of wine, a pint of ice cream on the table next to the empty box of tissues while you seamlessly binge on hour-upon-hour family jokes, and while you tear at the very missed opportunity of having your own family. That, or you have your own family and they suck compared to the Tanners.
Now scroll through these 10 popular TV shows you’ll never admit to binge watching, even though we’re pretty sure you do. It wasn’t enough to watch every episode of Boy Meets World again, now you have to go through Girl Meets World, too? Geez.
10 Popular TV Shows You’ll Never Admit to Binging Hard On (But You Probably Do)
Have an honest laugh with: A 32-Year-Old Man Gets Way Too Honest About His Trip to See ‘Beauty and the Beast’
Quiet TV Binges
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"The Golden Girls"
What could be more embarrassing than people knowing you watch a bunch of little, old ladies for extended periods? We'll tell you: Watching little, old ladies and relating to them more than your own friends, and also realizing they're funnier than you'll ever be.
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"Friends"
We've all been there, and we'll all be here again. You could say you tune in for Chandler's wit or Jennifer Aniston's hard nips, but we both know this is how you want your group of friends to be: uninviting to others, a bit inappropriate for the times, and always hanging out in a coffee shop to avoid real life.
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"Fuller House"
Photo: Netflix
You could barely get by with the original, mostly because it falls under nostalgic indulgence, but the reboot where the girls (who cannot easily function in any roles but these) is built for the 'stay-at-home, cheesy joke you wouldn't get unless you had a family of your own' mom. Thank goodness they're renewed for a third season to keep the dream alive.
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"Beverly Hills 90210"
It could be considered one of those nostalgic indulgences, at least until you end up watching a decade's worth of teen drama in a month. We'll admit they had it down when teen sex and smoking weed were groundbreaking topics, and the witty Brandon banter and au naturale girls had us hooked. But if you roll into the 90210 reboot, then you're in trouble.
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"Love"
Photo: Netflix
Judd Apatow has really done it now. While we love Gillian Jacobs as the downtrodden modern L.A. lady, we simply can't get past the nerdery of the show's co-creator and lead actor, Gus (Paul Rust). Apatow might be well-versed in teen dramedy, but he's far from his best days.
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"New Girl"
You could watch this with your girlfriend and enjoy a few jokes, but if you're speeding home through traffic every time a new episode is going to air, we can't help you there. Even if Zooey Deschanel is hot and Jake Johnson is hilarious, we still can't quite get behind anything on Fox.
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"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"
Photo: Netflix
While we adored Ellie Kemper in The Office, her pep is way too much for us on a routine basis. Binge watching this show by yourself is like doing power hour with a bowl of sugar cubes dropped in shots of 5-Hour Energy. Too much pep for a grown man.
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"Skin Wars"
Photo: Netflix
Of all the terrible reality TV so bad you have to watch, this one we actually recommend one episode to see its ridiculousness, then maybe another just to see if Rebecca Romijn is hotter than the first episode (if possible), then turn off Ru Paul and the rest of the overly excited judges who are condemning people over something as ridiculous as body painting. And (spoiler), the first season winner was the worst on the show. Good work, A-holes.
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"The Mindy Project"
Photo: Hulu
Again, not bad on The Office, but not an excusable binge solo. We'll throw her a bone and say it wasn't awful at first, but now on Hulu it's just dog shit (pun intended more than hurling an insult).
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"Power Rangers"
Photo: Fox Kids
There's just so fucking many we can't keep track. One episode to feel born again and realize how terrible it is might be pushing it already. So if you're binging on this alone, we suggest seeing someone about it (we have been there so we have great referrals).
