Photos: Netflix
When it comes to the most addictive TV shows and the art of the endless binge, we know a thing or two, especially when it involves reality TV that’s so bad it’s impossible to stop watching. Look away now if you have any hopes for a future as we roll out the nasty Netflix carpet for some couch-convenient reality shows streaming now.
Whether you’re into body painting wars, cupcake baking wars, regular baking wars with stuffy British folk, big trucks on little roads, men killing animals, animals fighting in an underground wrestling ring, basic cheerleader drama or the obvious tension of an Australian tattoo parlor, we implore you to taste test each of these awful shows, so bad you can’t look away. It’s like a car wreck, if the car wreck involved little clown mobiles with endless weirdos rolling out of the burning doors while the flames overtake the vehicles once the airbags fail to deploy. It’s all a metaphor for great television, folks, reality television, and these (s)hit shows will make you turd your pants when you realize some of them have been on for several seasons now.
And Now for Some Streaming Reality TV Shows So Bad It’s Impossible to Stop Watching
Time to say bye: 10 Popular TV Shows That Honestly Just Need to Go
Bad Reality TV
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"Skin Wars"
Photo: GSN
Three seasons of eccentric weirds spray painting strangers for cash prizes with Rebecca Romijn hosting and Ru Paul as one of the judges somehow turns body painting into a dramatic event.
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"Bondi Ink Tattoo Crew"
Photo: Eleven
An Australian tattoo team that turns scarring your body into a true television art form. With two seasons down, the first is up for streaming.
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"Lucha Underground"
Photo: El Rey Network
Your inner 12-year-old (or just your current man child) will appreciate the underground wrestling world of Lucha Underground. With two of its three seasons up on Netflix, the sexy storytelling series uses folding chairs and fake violence to move us into an awkward Netflix bender.
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"Cheer Squad"
Photo: Freeform
Creeps will rave at this firewall-free look at young girls doing a balancing act of school, training and competing in the fierce world of cheerleading. It's so meaningless, but we can't not root for the Great White Sharks to return for season two.
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"It Takes a Church"
Photo: GSN
What better place to find your soulmate than in a church? Why didn't we think of that. Luckily, this makes all the usual slutty outfits, sex, arguments and post-argument hate sex of real-life dating totally null and void.
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"Cupcake Wars"
Photo: Food Network
It would be an exciting show, if they weren't making fucking cupcakes every time. Maybe try widening the scope of what's possible in the kitchen, throw in some mid muffin prep boob grabs and not have leaving the flour out by "accident" the main point of drama in an episode.
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"MeatEater"
Photo: The Sportsman Channel
Vegan folks who die when they see people post pictures of themselves next to a rotting carcass they killed themselves will be thrilled by five seasons of Steve Rinella killing and cooking up freshly hunted meat.
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"Undercover Boss"
Photo: CBS
Those of us who lose sleep thinking our bosses secretly watch us when we go into the back room and watch porn while stuffing our faces on the job will have our worst fears realized when some high-level execs take on low-level jobs within the company.
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"Outback Truckers"
Photo: Prospero Productions/Netflix
Semi trucks in the outback? What could be pointless and trashy about this being a thing for three seasons? The Australian show streams on Netflix, quickly giving us the reality of living in a big rig (we're assuming compulsive masturbation and reenacting scenes from Joy Ride, Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead and Joy Ride 3: Roadkill).
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"The Great British Bake Off"
Photo: BBC
The bake off goes horribly "a-rye" when the judges realized these talentless amateurs aren't good enough to be crowned the best in the land. Awkward.