Cosmo Kramer’s Guide to Living Life on Your Own Terms

By Matt Branham

Photo: NBC / Contributor (Getty Images)

So much of life is an endless battle of making ends meet while trying to live it on your own terms. If there’s one thing Seinfeld gave us, it’s the wonderfully hilarious opportunity to create Cosmo Kramer’s Guide to Living on Your Own Terms. It goes right in line with George Costanza’s Guide to Getting and Keeping a Job and Larry David’s Guide to Being a Decent, Sensible Human Being. Struggle no longer, my friends, to find the balance in your life. When in doubt, just be a little more like the Cos-Man.

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Kramer Guide to Living

  • Always make an entrance that lights up the room.

    Always make an entrance that lights up the room.

  • Once you're in, own the room.

    Once you're in, own the room.

  • Multi-tasking includes inspiring others along the way.

    Multi-tasking includes inspiring others along the way.

  • Fashion yourself a bit of a Renaissance man. Know no limits to your talents.

    Fashion yourself a bit of a Renaissance man. Know no limits to your talents.

  • Be all about the business when it counts. And eat healthy in between.

    Be all about the business when it counts. And eat healthy in between.

  • Remain calm in the darkest hour. The light is right up ahead.

    Remain calm in the darkest hour. The light is right up ahead.

  • Stay stealth even in your most exposed states. No one will notice your flaws.

    Stay stealth even in your most exposed states. No one will notice your flaws.

  • Don't wait for the

    Don't wait for the

  • No matter how busy, always remain a reliable friend, no questions asked.

    No matter how busy, always remain a reliable friend, no questions asked.

  • Dress appropriately for every occasion. You never know where the day may take you.

    Dress appropriately for every occasion. You never know where the day may take you.

  • Don't be shy about speaking your mind. People appreciate honesty.

    Don't be shy about speaking your mind. People appreciate honesty.

  • Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.

    Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.

  • Remember the importance of a timely joke used sparingly.

    Remember the importance of a timely joke used sparingly.

  • Remain childlike, despite your age.

    Remain childlike, despite your age.

  • Don't be afraid to get after it. Giddy up!

    Don't be afraid to get after it. Giddy up!

  • Blow a few minds along the way, even your own.

    Blow a few minds along the way, even your own.

  • And leave it all on a good note. So long, folks!

    And leave it all on a good note. So long, folks!

    Now go off and live life on your own terms, Cosmo-style.

Matt Branham
Matt Branham

Matt Branham is the Editor-in-Chief at Mandatory. A Los Angeles-based author, originally from Illinois. A man of metaphors, challenging the norm and going against everything you believe, one of Mandatory's original writers. Whether music or movies, TV or taboo, he's always writing, mostly in alliterations. His latest book "Stop the World! I Wanna Get Off" was released in 2016, following "Feeling Out of Shorts." Stick around for more from this big hat wearing, topsy turvy troubadour.

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