Photo: Joe Raedle (Getty)
I believe it was Socrates who once said that nothing good happens behind a Walgreens after 10 p.m., but I could be mistaken. Either way, thanks to Jennifer Lazar’s start to the work week, that seems like good advice.
According to the Bradenton Herald, the 36-year-old Manatee County woman was arrested Monday night after deputies found her and a homeless man having sex behind a Walgreens.
The homeless man apparently wasn’t allowed inside Lazar’s house, so the two of them decided to get “intimate” behind the Walgreens instead. It’s unknown if it was the sight, sound or what must have been a horrific smell of sexual activity that led officers to the scene of the plow sesh, but they arrived shortly after 10 p.m. The homeless dude told them he and Lazar were just “having some fun,” but it was a different kind of party that eventually landed Lazar behind bars.
You see, kids, Lazar was unable to stand still while they questioned her, so they suspected that it was something other than a good dicking that was behind it. Their suspicions proved to be correct, as one of the deputies “searched the area and found hypodermic needles next to the homeless man’s wallet on the ground and a full bag of heroin by two couch cushions near where they were standing.” There was also a seven alprazolam pills and two smoking pipes, one of which was tucked inside a Newport cigarette pack, found inside Lazar’s purse.
So yeah, if Lazar was really looking to get screwed, our guess is that possession of a stash of drugs like that added to an already lengthy rap sheet means she’s pretty screwed.
