Photo: Instagram/Alexis Ren
The fact we need to tell you reasons not to screw it up with your hugely popular hottie girlfriend is disappointing. With the recent Alexis Ren breakup with her lucky, curly-haired bae, Jay Alvarrez, we got to thinking about how stupid this guy has to be to screw this up.
First of all, no man is without luck when it comes to sex and dating with hot girls who have big Instagram followings. But when your life is a series of paid-for vacations, snapping Instagram photos of your perfect girlfriend, getting paid for getting laid and, essentially, never growing up, you’d have to be a complete screw-up to ruin it. Secondly, we think it’s important to warn other lucky men and future lucky men about how to not screw up your relationship, but more important, the reasons why.
Here come some hilarious, yet realistic, reasons to keep your ridiculously hot, super popular girlfriend happy, because in our social media-driven lives, things can go south real quickly. Check out the backlash of losing a super hot girlfriend, like Alexis Ren, then enjoy her sweet booty. Not to say that she’ll burn your house down. But she could.
7 Reasons Not to Screw It Up With Your Hugely Popular Hottie Girlfriend
Now check out some of the latest from Alexis Ren’s Instagram.
Her ex messed up big time.
Now check out these hot babes 10 Classic Celebrity Women We Never Expected to See in Playboy
Alexis Ren Break
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She'll tell the world you have a tiny peen
Photo: via Twitter
You never want to get to a place of animosity where the size of your boat or motion of your ocean comes out in harsh words, especially if it's not true.
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She'll burn your life to the ground
Photo: VBaleha (Getty)
Literately. You'll feel the burn when you're losing an intensely hot girlfriend, and it starts with your belongings (and the surplus of amazing sex you're no longer getting).
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You'll never work as a boyfriend in this life again
Photo: YouTube
You've become obsolete, replaceable. OK, maybe it's an exaggeration, but you know girls will think twice before entering into a relationship with you after they hear what a shit head you are.
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Your all-expense paid vacations are over
Photo: via stocknewsusa.com
Remember when your entire job was to take pictures of that perfect ass at the right angle a couple hundred times each day, while getting paid to fly over exotic locations in between having sexy pillow fights? Yeah, those were the days. Now you can't afford pickles on your sandwich.
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You might have to get an actual job
Photo: Reddit
So what if you don't have any marketable skills! Well, dating a famous hot girl got you all sorts of perks that have gone away, but now you actually need to support yourself. [Enter shark suit outside local pool].
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She'll turn the world against you
Photo: Twitter
When she takes to Twitter, you know it's over. She has more followers than you could ever physically count, and now they're all little hate bots who have joined her little crusade to end your future happiness.
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There will be protests
Photo: Facebook/NBC
There will be plenty of ridiculous bans in 2017, and you'll be right up there in the mix. How will your family feel when they see you on the local news, your face scratched out with the words "fuck you, fuck boiz!" under your soon-to-be double chin.
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Say goodbye to this
Photo: via izlesene.com
This. There are no words to describe the loss. Nothing should ever be reason enough to screw this up. Look at it, it's perfect!
