Some Dude In Japan Stabbed Himself In An Effort To Get Out Of Work And The CG Recreation Is A Must-See

Photo: YouTube

Damn. Where does this guy work, Red Lobster?

According to Japankyo, a 54-year-old Japanese man stabbed himself in a subway station bathroom Wednesday morning in hopes that his injuries would be enough to keep him away from his shitty job because it was making him “mentally distressed.”

Um, no shit.

Some Dude In Japan Stabbed Himself In An Effort To Get Out Of Work And The CG Recreation Is A Must-See

Photo: YouTube

Police said after Masaru Miura stabbed himself in the left hip area with a knife in a Nagoya Municipal Subway station bathroom, he found a nearby police box and told them that somebody shanked him from behind while he was taking a piss. Upon further questioning while they were waiting for Miura to receive medical attention, police realized he was full of shit and eventually got him to confess to stabbing himself with a 13cm long knife he found “in a thicket near the subway station.”

“I didn’t want to go to work so I did it,” Miura allegedly confessed. “If I got hurt, I thought I would not have to go to work.”

It’s unknown if Miura’s dream of not going back to his job will actually come to fruition once his boss finds out the lengths he would go to in an effort to not work there anymore. What is known is that the CG recreation of what went down is fucking hysterical. Enjoy.

Here’s an interesting way to sell jimmy hats: This Japanese Condom Ad Is Literally Just Two Dinosaurs Having Sex