Frustrated Caucasian man sitting airport. Photo: John Fedele (Getty).
I don’t know what it is about the airport that makes being stuck there so miserable. There are plenty of things to do, but the entire time, you just feel like you’re in some sort of purgatory that also serves Coffee Bean beverages. You feel gross because you’ve been stuck inside a tube filled with recycled air all day, and the only thing in the world that sounds appealing is going home and washing that airport film off of your skin. But what do you do when that’s not an option, and you’re simply stuck at the airport with nowhere else to go and no one to rescue you? The most important thing is to try not to have an existential crisis. After that, you have to find a way to pass the time without turning into the third act of The Shining. Here are 10 ways to pass the time while you’re stuck at the airport.
10 Ways To Pass The Time While Stuck At The Airport
In other words, simply become the monster that long business trips or cross-country flights back home turn you into. That sounds simple enough.
May God help you if you also aren’t traveling alone: Traveling By Yourself VS. Traveling With Your Significant Other
Pass The Time Stuck At Airport
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Read A Book
How long has it been since you sat down and took the time to really enjoy a good book? That three-hour layover in Baltimore seems like a perfect scenario for you to get lost in a good book instead of hate reading Lena Dunham's social posts.
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Buy A $32 Orange
At some point, your tummy is going to start growling. So why not treat yourself to an old piece of fruit that's been sitting on a shelf inside an airport convenient store for days at the very reasonable price of $32? Wash it down with a $19 bottle of Aquafina and you've got yourself a healthy snack!
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Shop For Some Fine Jewelry/Electronics
Airports get it. They know the one thing we want to shop for while waiting for a flight is some fine Swarovski jewelry or some $400 headphones. Treat yourself by impulsively buying a portable battery charger that costs as much as your monthly mortgage.
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Purchase A T-Shirt That Has The Name Of The State You're Currently In On It
Every airport sells them, and no one besides your weird aunt buys them. Are you sure you don't need a shirt that simply says "Iowa" on it?
Also: The 12 Worst Things About Being at the Airport
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Take A Nap Across Multiple Seats In A Very Busy Terminal
This seems like a very popular move with individuals every time I'm at the airport. Who cares if there's limited seating? Just stretch out, fall into a deep sleep and let your sleep apnea do the rest.
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Make Loud Business Calls On Speakerphone For Everyone To Hear
Who needs bluetooth or a phone up to their ear when you could just as easily switch that bad boy to speaker, turn it up to full volume, and scream into it like you're at a Stryper concert?
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Question Literally Every Decision You've Made In Your Entire Life
At some point, the white walls are going to start to get to you, and you'll start slowly slipping into insanity. That's OK. It's perfectly normal, and you'll soon realize that life is a meaningless void.
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Eat At Chili's
When you're done with your mental and emotional crisis, why not head over to Chili's -- which is in almost every airport for some reason -- and enjoy a basket of Southwestern Eggrolls? What else could you possibly want sitting on your stomach for a 5-hour flight?
Also: The 8 Types Of People You Sit Next To On Every Flight
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Enjoy 7 To 16 Minutes Of Free Wi-Fi
You already paid hundreds of dollars for a flight, so why not enjoy the extravagant luxuries of the modern airport? Who needs the unlimited Wi-Fi you can get at a Starbucks when you can enjoy free wireless internet that doesn't even last long enough to watch an episode of Top Chef?
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Stare At Your Phone
Of course, you could just ignore all of this and spend the entire time scrolling through Instagram, then closing the app, and immediately reopening it like there's going to be something else besides the exact same pictures of your friend's hairless cat. That's time well spent!
