Photo: Thomas Trutschel (Getty)
Celebrities are brands. To think otherwise is naive. Everything they do and say has been deeply discussed, rehearsed and strategized amongst a group of qualified professionals so that we continue talking about them. These efforts will then keep them in the highly regarded limelight and subsequently earning more money than any of us bottom-feeders could ever dream of.
What you will witness below is further evidence that celebrities vehemently believe they are better than us in every conceivable way, residing smug-faced at the peak of the human hierarchy, as they look down at us lowly, everyday citizens.
Even though they lead us to believe otherwise, celebrities are, for the most part, completely self-absorbed and nowhere is this trait more evident than in their ridiculous and unnecessary requests and tour riders.
In this article, I speak specifically of the pages on pages of requests celebrities expect to receive while on tour.
From providing Madonna a 200+ person entourage filled of body guards and personal chefs to Mary J. Blige’s need for a new toilet seat wherever she goes to drop a deuce, the following celebrities are proof that, if nothing else, fame offers a wildly abstract view of what’s important or necessary.
12 Celebrities With Ridiculous And Bizarre Dressing Room Demands
Celeb Demands
Jennifer Lopez
J-“Low” sure has some “high” demands (see what I did there?). While on tour, J-Lo’s been known to request that her entire dressing room be completely white. This means it must be painted white before she and her immaculate bottom arrives, and must be filled entirely with white items, which include: white flowers, white tables and tablecloths, white drapes, white candles, white sheets, white couches, white lilies and white roses.
Photo: John Parra (Getty)
Madonna
Madonna is the worst. Retire already, Madge, you’re irrelevant. According to InTouch , Madonna requests a 200-person entourage that includes personal chefs and 30 bodyguards, as well as ALL vegan food (though she isn't vegan in the slightest), 20 international phone lines and light pink or white roses cut to precisely six inches.
Photo: Mike Stobe/Zuffa LLC (Getty)
Beyoncé
Beyoncé is arguably the most iconic and talented musician of our time, so it only makes sense then that she requests a sizeable dressing room normally reserved for entire sports teams, as well as heavily seasoned juicy baked chicken (legs, wings and breast only), because a girl’s gotta eat.
Photo by Theo Wargo (Getty)
Katy Perry
This one was kind of disappointing because I always saw Katy Perry as a cool, laidback chick. According to her 45-page rider , this perception couldn’t be further from the truth.
Included in this tome of demands, is a plethora of ridiculous requests that include: Two cream-colored egg chairs, one with a coordinating ottoman, a refrigerator with a glass door, ornate French lamps (I wish I was kidding) and, get this, someone employed to personally wash and cut her fruit and vegetables. With one last twist of the knife, Perry demands that no one on staff can speak to her.
Photo: Noam Galai (Getty)
Taylor Swift
Honestly, Taylor Swift sounds like a party . I’m not mad at her at all, considering she’s the biggest star of the moment.
If Taylor Swift arrives at an event before 11AM, her requests are quite simple: A grande iced caramel latte, a grande iced americano and a slice of pumpkin loaf from Starbucks. Nothing too out of the ordinary. But it’s later in the day when Swift becomes the personification of a party. On her rider, Swift wants: Three boxes of KD (with one stick of butter for good measure), two four-packs of Red Bull, one 12-pack of Corona, one 12-pack of New Castle, one pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, and one pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Brownie frozen yogurt, among other, less fun things.
Photo: Erika Goldring/FilmMagic (Getty)
Blake Shelton
According to his rider , Shelton does seem like a relatable dude. Most guys I know would mirror what he has on his rider, because most of it is booze. These items include: One bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee, one four pack of 5 Hour Energy, one case of Bud Light, one case of Miller Lite, two bottles of Bacardi rum, two bottle of red wine and, last but not least, one package of peppered or teriyaki beef jerky.
Photo: Trae Patton/NBC (Getty)
Will Ferrell
Everybody’s favorite SNL alum-turned-box-office-disappointment has some bizarre requests . This was never more evident than when he released the garbage film Semi Pro .
The following were his requests (many of which I’m still not sure are a joke or not) while promoting the film: One electric three-wheel mobility scooter, one headset microphone (Janet Jackson style), one flight of stairs on wheels, one fake tree on wheels, one rainbow (can be painted on canvas) on wheels, Guinness beer and protein bars. Of all his requests, it’s the protein bars I’m most skeptical of.
Photo: Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic (Getty)
Kesha
Kesha , who’s been out of the limelight for some time for legal reasons, wants booze, veggies and...that’s about it. As Perez Hilton reported , Kesha wanted vegetarian hand rolls without rice and mayonnaise (which would make diced vegetables in a seaweed wrap?), one raw vegetable tray, one tray of steamed vegetables or dried veggie snacks. But along with those veggies, Kesha like to booze, requesting one bottle of Don Julio or Patron Tequila, two bottles of “nice” Cabernet, and one bottle of vodka — Grey Goose preferred.
Photo by Taylor Hill/FilmMagic (Getty)
Foo Fighters
These guys are super down to earth, as expected. They’re only included here because they like to have a little fun with their riders , insisting that while on tour, all soups must be vegetarian "because meaty soups make the roadies fart."
Photo by Lester Cohen/WireImage (Getty)
Mary J. Blige
I’ve never regarded Mary J. Blige’s ass as anything extraordinary, but she certainly does . The R&B singer demands a brand new toilet seat for every room she uses in every city she performs.
Photo: Johnny Louis/FilmMagic (Getty)
Sir Paul McCartney
He was a fucking Beatle! Give the man what he wants. McCartney’s requests are bizarrely specific, I will admit, but can mostly be attributed to his role as an animal right activist.
McCartney’s requests include: Halogen floor lamps with dimmer switches, ONLY animal-free materials (cottons, denims, etc.), animal-friendly furniture, as well as no artificial versions of animal skin or print in the room whatsoever.
He also wants to have six full and leafy floor plants “that are just as full on the bottom as the top,” as well as other things that are mostly plant-related.
Photo: Kevin Mazur (Getty)
James Brown
James Brown probably had the most bizarre backstage requests of the entire bunch. Though simple, his requests bordered on illegal, requesting: “Two girls under the age of 21 and a ladies' hair dryer.”
Photo: Frank Micelotta (Getty)