This Guy Refused To Let A Restaurant Brawl Stop Him From Stuffing His Face With Pizza

May 20, 2016

Back in April, Morgantown, West Virginia, was the setting of a pizza parlor brawl for the ages. As Twitter user Autumn Collins pointed out in her tweet below, there were roughly 20 people involved in the scuffle. And yet, we have this guy.

Probably a 20 person brawl last night and that pizza was his only concern. He might be my soulmate. pic.twitter.com/ZX259tMBGn

— Autumn Collins (@AutumnBrie1) April 24, 2016

I’d say, “That has to be some quality pizza,” but the dude is also sitting on the floor as he is eating it, so perhaps his standards of excellence aren’t exactly up to snuff.

(h/t Someecards)

He should give this place a try: Can You Count How Many Rats Escape Into The Ceiling At This Restaurant When The Lights Get Turned On?

If you couldn't tell by his photo, dignity flew out the window long ago for Cory. But that just means that nothing is off limits, making him the perfect fit to write for Mandatory. Hobbies include: eating pizza, thinking about going for a jog today, writing memes that no one finds funny, and wondering what life would be like if he'd actually put forth the effort to make something of it 10 years ago. He also owns two other hats (not pictured).