When it comes to showing the world that you make poor choices in life, you would be hard pressed to find something more embarrassing than owning a Saturn Ion.
But crashing that shitty car because you were too busy jerking off would certainly do the trick.
According to The Smoking Gun, a 63-year-old man from Martinez was arrested Monday morning after he rear-ended a Chevrolet Astro Van because he was “physically distracted.”
Police said when they arrived on the scene of the accident, Ricartia McBride told them she had seen Donald Johnson “swerving and driving recklessly,” so much so that he almost hit her van at least two or three other times before the crash.
McBride told police the last time she looked over at Johnson, “he had his penis exposed outside of his pants and was physically masturbating.”
Johnson was charged with following too closely and public indecency again. That’s right, kids. This wasn’t the first time Mr. Johnson decided to punch his clown while he was behind the wheel. Police busted him for the same thing in 2008, although it’s unknown if he wrecked somebody else’s vehicle or his pants that time around.
