M&M’s Introduces First-Ever Female Peanut M&M ‘Purple’ in Music Video That Leaves a Bad Taste in Our Mouths

It really blows our minds that candy companies have to advertise at all. We’ve consumed every imaginable form of sugar and we know what we like. Seeing an ad isn’t going to change our cravings, and we definitely don’t need our favorite candies turned into cutesy characters in order to want to consume them by the fistful – in fact, the more caricatured our sweet treats become, the less appealing they are. But try telling that to M&M’s, the candy-coated chocolate brand that not only feels the need to personify its addictive edibles but also thinks it’s necessary to assign them genders.

The latest addition to the M&M’s gang is Purple, the first-ever female peanut M&M. We’re not even sure how to process this information. After all, how did the candy makers know Purple is female? Did they ask her? Did they check her, um, candy-coated genitalia? (And what about her, um, nut?) Why the hell do M&M’s need personalities, much less genders and colors? How political are these pop-able candies going to get? (Seriously, are they going to start announcing their party affiliations next?)

As if all this wasn’t cringey enough, Purple made her debut on the scene with (*gag*) a music video. Yup, she’s the force behind “I’m Just Gonna Be Me,” which is an interesting title because we don’t need our candy to be anything but delicious.

“I’m the new M&M’s candy,” the long-lashed Purple says to herself in the mirror of a dressing room. “Do I have what it takes? I want to be the best. Or even pretty good would be great!”

So she has imposter syndrome, too. Awesome. Way to be empowering, M&M’s. No gender stereotypes to see here!

The video only gets worse when Purple steps into the hall and a dude dressed as plant mansplains, “Just be yourself and you can do it!” (If only you could will yourself to grow some hair, balding plant man.)

Soon enough, Purple finds her groove and in a wannabe Katy Perry moment, belts out: “I’m just gonna be me / I’m just gonna be me / Nothing else I can be but a purple-y, peanut-shaped chocolate candy.”

OK, whatever, Purple. As long as you don’t taste like food coloring, we really don’t give AF about who the evil marketing geniuses at M&M’s decided you would be.

Cover Photo: M&M’s