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After a night of cocktails, beers, or shots of bottom-shelf tequila, on top of feeling a little wobbly on your feet, there’s a good chance that before you crash for the night you’re going to want to fill your belly with some food. We’re talking cheese, gooey, crunchy, fatty, or sweet, it doesn’t matter. We’ll even eat Lucky Charms pancakes if someone else makes them for us.
This brings us to one question: what are the best drunk snacks of all time? We’d have to have a half dozen tallboys and sample each and every tasty treat to truly find out. But who has the time for that? This is why we instead ranked ten of our favorites based on pasty drunken experiences. Keep scrolling to see them all.
Ranked! Drunk Snacks
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10) Top Ramen
Top Ramen might not be the greatest, most delicious food of all time. But is there anything more nostalgic after a drunken evening than a bowl of this salty, savory, sometimes spicy noodle-based soup?
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9) Easy Cheese
What could be better after a night of boozing than artificial cheese squirted from a can onto a Ritz cracker or some other buttery, crispy cheese vessel. Even if you don’t have any crackers, you can simply squirt the cheese right into your mouth.
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8) Soft Pretzels
The best thing about soft pretzels is that you don’t need to make them. You can simply open a box and throw some pre-made frozen pretzels into the oven. Wait for them the bake and then dip them into some mustard or nacho cheese sauce.
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7) Rice Krispy Treats
Rice Krispy Treats are one of the easiest dessert treats to make. This is good because, after a few cocktails, we’re not trying to measure flour and other ingredients. We just want to eat that crunchy, gooey, sweet treat.
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6) Poutine
You don’t have to travel to Quebec to enjoy this combination of crispy French fries, cheese curds, and gravy. You can make it at home fairly easily even in your drunken state.
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5) Nacho Cheese Doritos
Is there a better drunk chip than classic, cheesy Nacho Cheese Doritos? We’ll save you the time and tell you that there isn’t. The pinnacle of drunk chip mountain is the Nacho Cheese Dorito. Second place is Cool Ranch (also known as ‘Cool American’ in Iceland and some other European countries) and it’s not even close.
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4) Grilled Cheese
If you have the patience, it’s hard to beat a crispy, gooey grilled cheese sandwich. And don’t come at us with any of that artisanal cheddar nonsense. This sandwich should be made with white bread and American cheese only.
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3) Easy Mac
Sure, if given the option, we’d enjoy a bowl of restaurant-quality gooey, cheesy macaroni and cheese. But, while wearing beer goggles, all we can manage is Easy Mac and it still ticks that cheesy, savory, salty box.
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2) Tator Tots
French fries are great, but there are no better starchy drunk foods than crispy, savory, salty tator tots. Throw them in the oven and crank the tunes while you wait for these drunken heroes to dance their way into your eagerly awaiting stomach.
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1) Bagel Bites
Is there anything more appealing to your drunk belly than a bagel bite? These tiny, crispy, gooey, bite-sized pizzas hit the spot after a night of drinking. We can throw down at least a dozen in one sitting.
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