We hate plugging stuff in. Charging it. Replacing batteries. And generally being inconvenienced in any way by technology. Why? Because despite new gadgets enhancing the pleasure sector of our lifestyle pie chart, we secretly loathe it. It’s a love-hate relationship. For inevitably every new piece of technology comes with hidden strings attached, a learning curve, and a deeply vexing bond we never thought could be experienced with a piece of titanium-wrapped silicon.
But every year the world explodes with sexy new gadgets. And 2022 has had a particularly powerful orgasmic discharge of goodies. New tech that’s making everything in life easier, from home security to entertainment on the go. In fact, the shiny gizmos flooding the consumer marketplace this year are so life-enhancing they’re almost too good to resist. Here are the top ten gadgets that could transform the way we live if we could only get off our asses to retrieve them once they’ve been delivered to our doorstep.
Cover Photo: DaanTech
10 Gadgets 2022
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Bob the Mini Dishwasher - Custom Preorder $399
Say goodbye to your endless stack of dirty dishes now that Bob's here to take care of business. This mini dishwasher can clean your crusty 11.4-inch plates in just 15 minutes, no water hookup needed. Just pour a cup of H2o into the front-loader and you're ready to go. If only we could be bothered to load even one dirty fork.
Photo: DaanTech
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Balmuda The Toaster - $299
You know how when you reheat stuff in your toaster and it gets all dried out? Never again with the super lux Balmuda toaster. This too-expensive-for-normal-people appliance adds hydration to the toasting process in three perplexing stages to ensure a mouthwatering amount of moisture is reunited with all your leftover pizza and fresh-baked bread from last year that still lives in your cupboard.
Photo: Balmuda
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MiniBrew Craft Gen 3 Smart Beer Machine - $950
Want fresh craft beer whenever the feeling strikes? The self-contained Gen 3 delivers fresh beer in ten days with zero mess. Boasting a 5-liter keg, controlled fermentation, and customizable batch kits, there's really no reason you should listen to your sponsor and not get this bad boy.
Photo: MiniBrew
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Oral B iO Series 9 - $299
People used to brush their teeth with twigs. Obviously, we've come a long way since then and the iO Series 9 is all the proof we need to shame our Amish brethren. Groundbreaking 3-D Teeth Tracking and AI Recognition act as your creepy, tiny robot mom to tell you all the spots you friggin missed. And having super-clean teeth is critical when diving straight into a box of cookies afterward.
Photo: Oral B
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The Vitruvian Trainer - $2,200
Home workouts are all the rage thanks to a pandemic that just won't quit. And if you're looking for a resistance weight system that tunes to your body's strength, the VitruvianTrainer is where it's at. Acting as a spotter, it knows when you hit muscle fatigue and shares the lift load with you on those last few reps so you can maximize results and minimize injury. (WARNING: Lifting weights NOT recommended for shiftless loafers.)
Photo: Vitruvian Form
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Nuraloop - $149
Why do loved ones keep telling you your hearing sucks? We know it hurts. But listen, Nuraloop would never do that. This ultra compassionate headphone uses cutting-edge technology to measure your hearing deficiencies. Then it equalizes your audio to perfectly fit your shitty old man ears. Now you can finally hear the full harmonic range on Childish Gambino's 'This Is America' grandpa.
Photo: Nuraloop
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POC Omne Eternal - Preorder $200
Getting hit by a car blows. Never get run over again with the solar-powered Omne Eternal bike helmet from POC. Simply leave the headcase by a window to charge, and your night rides will be guarded by a flashing beacon at the rear. Too bad our bike is all the way in the garage behind those boxes we never unpacked.
Photo: POC
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AllBirds Dasher - $125
Save the planet on every run with the Allbirds Dasher, a sustainable sneaker made from eucalyptus and sugarcane. OK, so it's not exactly a gadget. But when was the last time any of us went for a jog anyway?
Photo: Allbirds
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Vespera Telescope - Preorder $1,499
We all like the idea of gazing at the stars. But standing outside in the freezing cold adjusting a telescope for 20 minutes to glimpse a blurry mass of light sucks. Vespera feels you. That's why they've created a super sleek telescope/camera that beams images directly to our screen of choice. So now we can woo our girlfriend by unlocking the secrets of the universe from the comfort of our bed. If only we had the energy for foreplay.
Photo: Vespera
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Samsung The Freestyle - $899
Has anyone ever told you you look like a wizard? Of course not. Because you've never had the Samsung Freestyle, a pocket projector that blasts 360 audio and crisp visuals up to 100 inches. This insane gadget comes preloaded with all your favorite apps, can auto level the picture onto any surface, and sidelines as an ambient light source. Finally, a product even our slothfulness can't fend off...for long.
Photo: Samsung
