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We all know vampires aren’t real, right? Well, at the very least we really hope they aren’t real. Even if we don’t believe in them, we’re all prepared to battle them if they take over our town or city like in the Stephen King book ‘Salem’s Lot’ or the hit Netflix TV show ‘Midnight Mass.’ If, by some strange happenstance, vampires do exist and they slowly (or quickly) start changing your friends and neighbors into undead, fanged, creatures of the night who crave blood, have an unhealthy fear of sunlight, we’ll be prepared with garlic, holy water, crucifixes in various sizes, and sharpened wooden stakes.
According to Lawn Love (a lawn care service that shouldn’t know this much about vampires), you should be more prepared for your neighbors turning into bloodthirsty bats and taking on the undead appearance of Rudy Giuliani if you live in a handful of specific cities. That’s because they released a list of the Best Cities for Vampires this Halloween. Keep scrolling to see the list.
Ranked Vampire Cities
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10) Paterson, New Jersey
Why this New Jersey city is a haven for the vampiric, we don’t know. We can only assume that the “armpit of America” is a great place for creatures of the night.
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9) Bellevue, Washington
If we know anything from watching movies and TV shows (like ‘The Killing’) that take place in the Seattle areas, it’s dark and rainy all the time (right?). We couldn’t think of a better setting for a pack of bloodthirst vampires.
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8) Columbus, Ohio
We only know Columbus because of the Ohio State University. Maybe it’s the number of fresh faced students that appeal to vampires? We knows?
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7) Aurora, Illinois
The home of Wayne and Garth is also apparently a great spot to live if you’re a creature of the night. We can only assume there are a ton of basements. Just like in Wayne Campbell’s house.
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6) St. Paul, Minnesota
Minnesota gets really cold and dark during the winter months. If we learned anything from ’30 Days of Night’, vampires seems to have no problem thriving in freezing temperatures.
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5) Tacoma, Washington
It shouldn’t be surprising that there’s another Washington State city on this list. There’s a reason the ‘Twilight’ book and film series took place in the Pacific Northwest state.
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4) Omaha, Nebraska
We don’t know much about what goes on in Omaha. But we assume that there’s a lot of corn for vampires to hide in if they get caught outside as the sun rises.
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3) Chicago, Illinois
According to Lawn Love, Chicago has one of the largest vampire populations in the country and that’s downright terrifying. We’re staying away from the Windy City until the wooden stake business starts to take off.
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2) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Pittsburgh is surrounded by rivers so, if it’s filled with vampires that’s a pretty scary notion. There are few places to flee to get away from the vampiric hordes.
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1) Naperville, Illinois
While we would have assumed there was something southern states on this list (sadly many places don’t have basements), Illinois seems to be filled with vampires as it took three spots on this list.
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