Hot Urologist Explains Showers v. Growers For the Uneducated Penis Enthusiast, Sign Us Up For an Initial Consult!

If you’ve ever daydreamed about penises (show of hands), then you’ve probably toyed with the notion of showers v. growers. This handy rhyme is a term used to describe the difference between a dick who lays all its cards on the table and one with a mean poker face. In other words, a shower is a flaccid, inflatable giraffe that’s 90 percent filled with air in stark contrast to a grower that’s mostly deflated until the party gets started. But while this penis plot seems pretty straightforward on the surface, underneath lies a whole shaft of secrets. And thanks to one hot urologist, the truth about penises is about to be exposed.

For one thing, is there friction between the two camps? Does one team win more championships? Which crew needs greater lodging accommodations? And is there anything that can’t be used as a euphemism for penises and sex?

Dr. Rena Malik, hot urologist and penis gazer, answers all these questions and more in her YouTube series that demystifies male sexual health. And her showers v. growers video is plump full of surprises. For instance, it turns out that collagen plays a huge role in penis flexibility, which decreases as you age, leading to a saggy dagger. Also, environmental factors affect the wong tong, including smoking, diet, exercise, and room temperature. So don’t feel bad if your sasquatch goes hibernating for 12 hours after a cold plunge or a brisk walk in the park.

Next, Dr. Malik goes into some hard numbers based on a scientific study of 300 men. The study found that the median change from flaccid to erect penises was 1.5 inches. Twenty-six percent of men experienced growth beyond 1.5 inches, making them growers, while the rest fell into the shower camp.

So which meatmeister claimed the crown of Johnsonville? According to Malik, neither. There was no real difference between the two sides as far as size and fertility go – meaning the beef between showers and growers is officially over and representatives from both sides should now shake hands.

That said, Dr. Malik did note one important factor when it came to size that we can all take advantage of (for a limited time only). Check out the video below to find out more about this juicy little gem. And as always, don’t be a dick.

Cover Photo: YouTube