Like sex and pizza, there is no such thing as bad candy, at least not in theory. When you’re a kid, you don’t complain, because, hey, free treats are free treats – and Halloween is the only time of year when your parents aren’t obsessively monitoring your sugar consumption. But as you get older, and your palate becomes more refined, you realize that a lot of the Halloween candy you ate by the fistful as a child isn’t just subpar, it’s downright disgusting.
In honor of all the bad candy out there, we rounded up and ranked the 10 worst Halloween sweets. Don’t you dare hand out these sorry excuses for candy to the neighborhood kids trick-or-treating on Oct. 31 – unless you never want them to darken your door again.
Cover Photo: jenifoto (Getty Images)
Worst Halloween Candy
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10. Butterscotch Candies
Do you look like an old geezer? C'mon, people! These belong at the bottom of grandma's purse.
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9. Dum Dums
You'd have to be a Dum Dum to enjoy one of these itty-bitty suckers. Maybe you can trick a toddler into thinking this is a treat, but no self-respecting adult would suck on one.
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8. SweeTarts
We love sour candies, but tart ones? No, thank you. These coin-shaped candies have a medicinal flavor and leave a bad taste in our mouths.
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7. Smarties
These bland, powdery discs are about as tasty as popping Pepto Bismol -- but instead of curing your stomachache, they give you one.
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6. Bazooka Gum
Maybe the free comic in the wrapper was quaint back in your grandparents' day, but nobody wants to find these hard bricks of bubblegum in their Halloween basket.
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5. Pixy Stix
We love sugar, but we don't want to mainline it. This stuff is basically kid cocaine. It's disgusting, dangerous, and addictive.
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4. Sixlets
These candy-coated chocolate pellets are like the dollar-store version of M&Ms -- but they're so nasty, you couldn't pay us to eat them.
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3. Tootsie Rolls
These tough little logs claim to be chocolate flavored, but they aren't fooling anybody, not even people who aren't that into chocolate. We'd rather chew on the soles of our shoes, thanks.
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2. Candy Corn
How this artificially-flavored travesty became the candy mascot of Halloween, we'll never know. The chalky consistency alone is enough to make us hurl.
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1. Wax Fangs
Finally, a product that actually owns up to what it tastes like: wax. We're not even sure these are edible.
