There’s a lot of misinformation floating around about the Covid vaccine (aka the greatest invention of the 21st century so far). But as the pandemic rages on past the one-year mark, don’t let fake news dissuade you from getting your shot in the arm. Vaccinating as many people as possible is the fastest way to herd immunity (read: getting back to some semblance of “normal”).
Before you let Redneck Joe at the local watering hole talk you out of getting inoculated against the deadly virus, get your facts straight and look at the science. We’ve done the research for you and have debunked eight ridiculous Covid vaccine myths. Scroll down, then roll up your sleeve. Let’s get this done, America.
Cover Photo: Monty Rakusen (Getty Images)
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Vaccine Myths
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Myth: If you had – and recovered from – Covid, you don’t need to get vaccinated.
No one knows for sure how long “natural immunity” after recovering from Covid lasts, so your safest bet is to get vaccinated. Some scientists claim that the immunity from the Covid vaccine is better and longer-lasting than natural immunity anyway.
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Myth: The vaccine has some freaky ingredients.
The imaginations on some people! No, none of the FDA-approved vaccines contain fetal tissue, microchips, implants, or tracking devices. This isn’t The Matrix. What the vaccine does contain? Stuff you’re very familiar with and already consume on the regular, like fats, salts, and a small amount of sugar. (It helps the medicine go down.) Mary Poppins would approve.
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Myth: The side effects of the vaccine are brutal.
Come on, people. Grow a pair. It’s a vaccine, not a nuclear bomb. Sure, your arm might be sore for a couple of days. You may also get a low-grade fever, have body aches or headaches, feel tired, and (very rarely) experience vomiting or diarrhea for a day or two after the vaccine. Many people have zero side effects. You just never know.
What we do know is that if you skip the vaccine and end up getting Covid, you are going to be in a world of hurt and suffering from potentially serious, long-term shit like loss of taste and smell, shortness of breath, exhaustion, fog brain, and all sorts of weird, crazy bodily reactions – not to mention the psychological damage if you get hospitalized. In other words, it’s smarter to choose a little discomfort due to the vaccine than to risk ending up in a medically induced coma on a ventilator in the ICU due to Covid. Now that's brutal.
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Myth: The vaccine changes your DNA.
It’s a vaccine, not a sci-fi movie. Your crappy DNA will remain unchanged. Procreate with confidence.
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Myth: You can get Covid from the vaccine.
Nope, that’s not how vaccines work. But we’re not doctors, so we can’t explain how they work as well the experts at Johns Hopkins. Take it away, docs: “The two authorized mRNA vaccines instruct your cells to reproduce a protein that is part of the SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus, which helps your body recognize and fight the virus, if it comes along. The COVID-19 vaccine does not contain the SARS-Co-2 virus, so you cannot get COVID-19 from the vaccine. The protein that helps your immune system recognize and fight the virus does not cause infection of any sort.”
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Myth: The vaccine can cause fertility issues.
No, the vaccine isn’t going to make you or your mate sterile. And if your special someone is already expecting, the general consensus is that it’s safe for pregnant women to get vaccinated at any point in their pregnancy. (They should just be on the lookout for a fever afterward and take Tylenol to get it down.) However, as with any medical decision during pregnancy, consult an OB if you’re unsure if the vaccine is right for your baby mama. As more research is done on the vaccines, it’s anticipated more studies proving the vaccine’s safety during pregnancy will be published.
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Myth: Once you’re vaccinated, you can go back to living life as you were pre-pandemic.
Sorry, you can’t toss all your masks in the trash just yet or start swapping spit with strangers. Even though you’re vaccinated, the virus can still enter your body (though it’s very unlikely you will get sick enough to be hospitalized or die from it), and it’s possible you can still spread it. So for the time being, you’ll have to carry on with your regular coronavirus precautions, especially around unvaccinated people.
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Myth: The vaccine makes your dick get bigger.
We wish. Every man in America would be in line for that vaccine.
