Since we’re all busy living our lives under coronavirus quarantine, it’s easy to forget those of us who are struggling. We might still have jobs and have transformed our basement into our makeshift office, but others are out of work and many businesses aren’t doing well. This includes the craft brewing industry in America.
There are around 8,000 breweries in the U.S. today. In a recent survey, more than 60 percent claimed that with the current state of affairs, they wouldn’t be able to remain open for more than three months. That means that we’re potentially going to lose a majority of the growth we’ve seen in craft brewing in the last decade. Many of our favorite breweries will be gone forever if we don’t do something about it. That’s why American Craft Beer Week (May 11-17) couldn’t come at a better time.
Having a national celebration of craft brewing might seem strange in times like these, but this event, which is hosted by the American Brewer’s Association, is the perfect time to buy a gift card or order a few six-packs and some food from your favorite brewery. Every dollar you send their way could be enough to keep them going for another week.
What would the world look like without craft breweries? We would rather not contemplate it, but here are some theories…
Photo: izusek (Getty Images)
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Craft Beer Week Gifs
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What’s the point of growing a beard?
If there’s no craft beer, we’re going to have a whole generation of lumberjack-looking men with large, burly beards that literally make no sense while sitting in a cubicle typing up reports.
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What are we going to pair with our favorite foods?
If all the breweries close, what are we supposed to pair our meals with? Milk? No way. Our bones are healthy enough.
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What will we do with all the extra hops?
What are we going to do with all the extra hops if the craft brewing industry implodes? Will we drink it in tea? Some kind of hops soda? No thank you.
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Would you rather drink kombucha?
If we don’t support our local craft breweries, they might be overrun by craft kombucha or some other gimmicky, gross beverage we have no desire to drink.
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Are we going to go back to macro brews?
If the smaller craft breweries close up shop, do we have to once again turn to the big boys to quench our thirst? After enjoying a dry-hopped, hazy, triple IPA, it will be pretty hard to go back to an American adjunct lager.
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What will we drink after mowing the lawn?
We all know that the most thirst-quenching beverage to enjoy after a sweaty, hot afternoon of lawn mowing is an ice-cold beer. What are we going to drink now, water? It just doesn’t have the same appeal.
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Will we have to start home brewing?
Honestly, we’re too lazy to make home-brewed beer now, so why would we want to do it when all of the breweries close? We’ll probably just turn to whiskey instead.
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What are they going to do with all the empty breweries?
Some of these craft breweries are gigantic. If they close, what could possibly take their place? Are we looking at a revival of roller rinks? Maybe disco will come back, too. (Yeah, right.)
