Knowing what you want in life is one of the key ingredients for happiness. And if 2020 is the year you want to start zeroing in on a solid relationship with a partner you can go the distance with, you might have to make some changes to your dating roster. We’re not saying it can’t happen with the alluring lady that towed your car from the Taco Bell parking lot while you were out smashing pints (because love happens in all kinds of places), we’re just saying that romantic triumph lives at the intersection of luck and preparation. So prepare to cross these unsuitable candidates off your love list and start paving the way for relationship stability in 2020.
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2020 Vision Dating
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Your Ex
Nothing is more embarrassing than going on a date with your ex. Don't do that to yourself. There are plenty of elephants on the tundra.
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Your Best Friend's Ex
While we're on the subject of exes, don't date your friend's ex either. Familiarity breeds attraction, like some weird Stockholm Syndrome of lust. But refrain from pursuing anything romantic. Just listen to "Jessie's Girl" on repeat until you get it out of your system.
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The Convenient Copulator
She's really into you, which makes things super easy. But a lopsided love will only ever go round and round in circles.
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The Debbie Downer
They say opposites attract. But if you're a happy-go-lucky type, life is too short to be tethered to a person who your friends would describe as "a real downer."
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The Emotionally Unavailable
Don't waste your time on someone who will never open up to you. No matter how good-looking they are.
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Friends With Extra Features
Who doesn’t love extras? Extra toppings on your pizza. Bonus extras on the director’s cut of The Notebook. But when it comes to someone who belongs in the friend zone, those extras will only lead to extra helpings of loneliness.
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The Clinger
Spending lots of time together is bound to happen, but if she's clutching your arm like it's the only piece of driftwood in a sea of loneliness, there are bound to be stormy seas up ahead.
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The Jealous Type
Real drama involves health and finances, not whose hindquarters you may or may not have been checking out.
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The Long-Distance Distractor
If you're in a committed long-distance relationship, that's one thing. But if you're just screwing around with someone you met while on vacation in Palm Beach, hang up the phone.
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The Succubus
Steer clear of the succubus. Once they sink their teeth into you, shaking them off will leave more than a flesh wound. Even if you manage to break free, they will haunt you for the rest of your life. And that's a long-term relationship you really don't want to mess with.
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The Pedestal Playmate
Sturdy relationships are founded on common ground and mutual respect. If you can't stop idolizing your partner, you will never be equals.
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Your Cousin
Unless you're part of the royal family, this arrangement will never work. But you already knew that.
