Photo: Alex Trautwig (Getty Images)
The World Series is over and done with and a team that nobody expected managed to take the trophy. Prior to the season, teams like the Red Sox (defending champs), Dodgers, Yankees, and Astros looked like World Series favorites. But it was the upstart Washington Nationals (who once sat at 19-31) sans Bryce Harper who defeated the Astros in seven games to grab a very unexpected championship. To celebrate, Natural Light Seltzer became “Nationals Light Seltzer,” though given what a long shot the team was to win the title, we think a more appropriate name would be “One Hit Wonder.” The drink was available throughout the World Series at Nationals Park. We brainstormed on some other brands serious underdogs might pair well with if they managed to eke out a championship amongst the greatest of odds.
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Sports Endorsements
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Cincinnati Bugles
The Bengals franchise is in disarray. The team just benched its supposed franchise quarterback. If they can somehow right this sinking lead-filled ship, they should totally get their own cheesy flavored Bugles. Why the heck not?
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Buffalo Brillo Pads
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Also, until 2017, this team wasn’t even in the wedding party for almost 20 years. It won’t happen, but if the Bills ever grab destiny by the buffalo horns, they should throw Brillo pads out to help wash away the years of tears.
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Cleveland Brown Rice
This one is rough because the Browns were heavily hyped prior to this season and the team is…playing exactly the way everyone expects the Browns to play. If they turn it around and hoist the Lombardi trophy, we think a nice rice-based endorsement is in order. Plus, it’s healthier than white rice.
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LA Toenail Clippers
Obviously, it seems like the Clippers don’t really belong on this list. Sadly, they definitely do. Until recently, the franchise was the laughingstock of the NBA and they still fizzle out every year come playoff time. If they ever get over the hump, we believe they should throw out team-endorsed toenail clippers at the championship parade.
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Miami Vice Grips
If the 1-7 Miami Dolphins turned everything around and won the Super Bowl, they’d need a pretty great product. That’s why we think some type of vice grip is perfect because they squeezed out a real winner from seemingly nothing.
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New York Knickerdoodles
Everyone likes snickerdoodle cookies and nobody thinks the Knicks have a shot at the NBA title any time soon. That's why it would be so sweet and delicious if the franchise somehow pulled it off.
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Tampa Bay Ray-Bans
Yeah, it gets sunny in Florida and yes, the Rays never seem to put it together when it matters. That’s why we’d love to see a Rays and Ray-Ban collaboration if it ever happens (it won’t).
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Colorado Rocky Mountain Oysters
The Rockies aren’t always terrible, but they’re never great. They went to the World Series back in ’07 and promptly got swept by the Red Sox. If they every win a title, we believe the only endorsement worthy of this franchise is deep fried bull testicles. Delish!
