When love is on the rocks, fortune favors the bold. Sure, you could retrace your steps to figure out where your relationship went wrong, analyze all the mistakes you made, face the inner demons that kept you from growing as a person, and reset the many small resentments that led to major blowups. But that’s going to take at least six months of swimming upstream in the Rio de Caca, where shit-eating is a daily sport. Option B? Be the hero of your own failed romance and save the day right now with one of these eight surefire ways to jumpstart your love life. One. Last. Time.
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Relationship Saves
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Handle her DMV appointment.
No one want to spend all day waiting around the living hell that is the DMV. Handle your girlfriend's appointment for her and she'll owe you big time. Big time enough to maybe even change the locks back to fit the key in your pocket.
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Resolve an issue with her mom for her.
More certain than the thin ice you're treading on right now is the fact that your girlfriend is having a longstanding argument with her mom. Pick up the horn and have a heart-to-heart with Carol. Not only will your lady appreciate you taking that bullet for her, she'll stop calling you a jerk...until you forget her birthday for the third year in a row.
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Give her the best orgasm ever.
Give her a good orgasm and she will put her better judgement aside and give you one more chance.
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Buy her love on credit.
Last-minute, all-expense-paid trips to Hawaii have prolonged thousands of doomed relationships for a reason. Just saying.
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Break up with her first.
Gain the upper hand by jumping ship first. Your new ex will momentarily feel a sense of panic at being dumped, and will be easier to scoop up on the rebound.
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Save a dog or human from a burning building.
Being a literal hero will fill your lover with adrenaline and make you look like Keanu Reeves circa 1996. At least until next Tuesday.
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Propose to her on the Jumbotron.
Jumbotrons make people act all kinds of weird. They kiss strangers, dance like diseased goats, and say yes to things they normally wouldn't even consider after three shots of tequila. Take advantage.
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Go back in time and do it right.
Who needs forgiveness when you have forget-ness? However you plan on resetting the clocks, just make sure you do it right the second time around.
