There’s a reason Jeff Bezos is the richest man on Earth. With the invention of Amazon, he’s provided people the ability to buy anything they can imagine from the privacy of their home. While some people may consider this to be a convenience for convenience’s sake, it’s more than that. It’s about having the autonomy to buy the weirdest stuff without ever even having to put pants on. Amazon has broached the final retail taboo, sex toys, and stocks tons of them. This way you never have to set foot in that creepy sex shop in the industrial part of town. So put on your finest robe, pour yourself a drink, and let us introduce you to the best of Amazon’s sex toy collection.
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Well, will you be perusing the isles of Amazon’s collection of sex toys? Or do you like to do it the old-fashioned way? Let us know in the comments!
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Amazon Sex Toys
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Shibari Mini Halo
With over 1,300 reviews, the Shibari Mini Halo "The Original" Compact Power Wand Massager is probably what you're looking for. It's satisfied plenty of customers and you might be next.
Photo: Amazon
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Tracy's Dog Pussy Pocket
You can't beat a product name like Tracy's Dog Pussy Pocket. Is it basically a fleshlight? You betcha. However, upon purchasing it, you will truly know how realistic the lips are on this thing.
Photo: Amazon
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Utimi Fetish Bed Restraint Sex Set
Fifty Shades of Grey might have been lame, but your own dip into BDSM doesn't have to be. The Utimi Fetish Bed Restraint Set is like a BDSM starter kit so you and the one you love can figure out if this kind of kink is for you.
Photo: Amazon
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Louviva 7-Inch Confetti Clear Dildo
Since this looks like something you'd buy to wave around at a pop concert, it's almost not even offensive. Still, the Louviva 7-inch Confetti Clear Dildo is a very lifelike penis that also looks like a party. And who doesn't want to party every now and again?
Photo: Amazon
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Akstore Small Steel Fetish Butt Plug
Relax. The jewel on the end of the Akstore Small Steel Fetish Butt Plug comes in a variety of colors. You don't have to get a pink one to massage your prostate.
Photo: Amazon
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Adorime G-Spot Waterproof Vibrator
The Adorime G-Spot Waterproof Vibrator is special, and not just because it's shaped like some sort of award. You can use it in a variety of ways on both men and women, making it the perfect gear for using on you and your partner.
Photo: Amazon
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Nooky Lube
If you're playing with sex toys, you definitely need to have a good lube on hand. Round out your Amazon sex toy haul with Nooky Lube. It's free of glycerin and parabens, making it suitable for sensitive skin. And it's perfect for first-time toy users.
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Paloqueth Prostate Massager/G-Spot Vibrator
Talk about efficiency, the Paloqueth Prostate Massager/G-Spot Vibrator is made for his or her pleasure. Just wash it in between use, OK?
Photo: Amazon
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Anfei 9-Inch Hyper-Realistic Dildo
The Anfei 9" Hyper-Realistic Dildo is made with FDA grade silicone material so it feels just like the real thing. (That is, if the real thing was 9 inches.) So, if you're of the "bigger is better" mindset, you're going to want to snatch this bad boy up.
Photo: Amazon
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Lonove's Masturbator Sex Doll For Men
This anatomically correct "Masturbator Sex Doll" had to be censored because it was so...correct. Also, for the record, it could possibly be for women as well. However, men are probably the target demo for this limbless sex torso. You know, if you're into that sort of thing.
Photo: Amazon
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Wowlife Glass Dildo With Heart Handle
Look, if you're going to get her a sex toy, get her something she'll enjoy looking at before, during, and after. Wowlife's Glass Dildo With Heart Handle can be heated up or frozen, simply to make her scream.
Photo: Amazon
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Phanxy Rechargeable Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator
The Phanxy Rechargeable Clitoral and G-Spot Vibrator is basically a clip-on vibrator your lady wears while you have sex. She can also wear it alone. Really, who knows why she includes you at all when all this wonderful gear exists. She must really like you.
Photo: Amazon
