College students have it so good. But you probably didn’t realize that until after you graduated and entered the real world, with all its demands and disappointments. For four years, you were coddled by professors, fed copious amounts of food, and partook in all the fun campus had to offer. Being surrounded by people your own age in a contained environment was pure bliss…which is why it’s too bad you didn’t appreciate it then. Now, you’d give anything to go back to that safe, collegiate cocoon. Alas, these 10 things to miss about college will make you want to get your Masters.
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The Mandatory graduate’s guide: 10 Practical Tips for Life After College
Good times: Hey, This Is America! Let College Kids Run Free In Their Underwear
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Things Grads Miss
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Sleeping In
You didn't think you could hate an inanimate object as much as you hate your alarm clock. What happened to the days of waking at noon, socializing at midnight, and crashing into bed as the sun rose? Now you get up at an hour that literally makes you sick.
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The Cafeteria
It used to be that your biggest food problem was not eating so much that you’d burst. Oh, the cafeteria and its endless delights! Now, as an adult, not only do you have to procure (and possibly cook) your own food for every single freakin’ meal, you also have to pay for it à la carte! You never thought eating could be such a chore, but it is. It. Is.
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Being The Smartest Person In The Room
You may have been a straight-A student at school, but out in the real world, nobody cares about your grades or if you even succeed. Those professors who praised you effusively? They were paid to do that. Turns out, you’re not that smart after all, and you’re certainly not the smartest person in any room anymore.
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Free Wi-Fi
You probably didn’t realize what a steal free Wi-Fi was, but now that you’re staring down your first internet bill, you do. You’ve even downgraded your speed just so you don’t bankrupt yourself in your first year out of college. Now you regret not soaking up more of those YouTube cat videos you love so much while you could. *Buffering forever.*
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Wearing Whatever The Hell You Wanted
The cruel world requires clothes. And not just any clothes. Business casual clothes that have been washed and ironed and bear no evidence of your last meal. Your bathrobe-only days have officially been reduced to once per week, if you’re lucky.
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No Commute
You thought the walk from your dorm to the science building was far. Ha! Now you spend five times that long behind the wheel of a hot car waiting for a space in traffic to open up. “Why didn’t you study something telecommuting-friendly?” you scream at yourself as you slam your head against the steering wheel. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
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Financial Aid
Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure felt like it did in college. Need an extra hundred (or five) for unexpected expenses? No problem! Just tack it on to your financial aid package. Now, not only have funds been cut off, you have to pay them back! With interest! On an entry-level salary! This system is rigged.
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Parties
As a student, there was always a party happening (or about to happen) somewhere. Now, if you want to party, you have to organize, plan, and schedule it, except no one wants to party anymore because they all have day jobs like you and have learned the value of a full night’s sleep. What kind of a life is this? No life at all!
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Co-Eds Everywhere
College is basically Tinder IRL. Never again will you be surrounded by so many single people who are eager to do so much more than mingle. You should've spent a lot more time in bed with your fellow co-eds and less time studying. Shame on you for wasting such a glorious opportunity. Enjoy picking up your next fling at...the grocery store? The bar? Where are all the ready and willing adults? Good luck figuring that riddle out.
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Work Study
Shelving books at the library was child’s play compared to the kind of work you’re now expected to do. Sure, you made a measly salary at work study, but you could multitask, using your job as a way to catch up on homework or meet new people. Now you go to work to, well, work. What a drag. Goodbye, college. Hello, school of hard knocks.
