This New Alcoholic Hemp Drink Is Desperately Missing One Crucial Ingredient

Photo: Four Loko 

There’s no such thing as too many hemp beverages, but the latest one may have gone too far…or not far enough.

It’s all Four Loko‘s fault. The beverage brand is releasing a new hemp drink that’s 12 percent ABV and zero percent hemp…or CBD or THC for that matter, to which we say: WTF? The boozy thirst-quencher merely mimics the flavor of hemp, similar to the hops beer drinkers are well acquainted with.

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You might remember Four Loko from when it peaked around 2010. It was an intensely caffeinated, cloyingly sweet, and oddly-flavored alcoholic drink chock full of guarana, caffeine, and taurine. It came in flavors like lemonade, fruit punch, watermelon, and grape and was sold in camouflage cans. Four Loko used to be the kind of drink that turned people into werewolves (sans hair growth) and pretty much guaranteed your night would end with a blackout.

Four Loko’s hemp drink is a lot tamer. It does not contain caffeine, taurine, or guarana, which makes us wonder what the point of drinking it is.

Luckily, Four Loko isn’t the only hemp-flavored alcoholic beverage that pot-lovers can crush. We rounded up some alternatives because we really, truly care about you and your hemp-drinking experiences.

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