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If you live inside an apartment, you understand how rare, and blissful, it is to have quiet neighbors. We all enjoy our privacy. We want to live in peace. Nothing disturbs that peace more than neighbors who are unapologetically loud.
In the event you would like to turn the tables, below are 10 simple and effective ways to get back at your inconsiderate neighbors. All these tips should be executed before dawn because, while it may start a war, these battle-proven ideas are actions that can help you win on the domesticated war-front.
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Essential Ideas For Pissing Off Neighbors
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Do Yardwork Early
Mow the lawn, turn on the leaf blower, or run the snow blower, all before dawn. This is perfect if you live in a townhome or duplex.
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Make Your Dog Do Dog Things
If you have a dog, you know how to make it go nuts: running fits, barking, scratching. Tempt it with cheese or its favorite doggo treat before sunrise to encourage a good ol' wake-up howl.
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Use Tape As A Four-Letter Word
If your neighbors party until dawn, pay them back with a wake-up call on your way to work. Simply write a lovely four-letter note on a piece of tape and attach it to their buzzer button outside the entrance to the building. If executed properly, the buzz should be continuous but their sleep will not be.
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Have Overtly Hateful Sex
The only thing worse than hearing neighbors having sex is hearing them having raunchy, Fifty Shades of Grey-like sex.
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Blend A Smoothie
Go ahead, go wild with the Ninja at 6 a.m. The more ingredients, the better.
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Walk Like Sasquatch
It's amazing how small feet can make gigantic noises if you really want them to. Make them believe BigFoot is real.
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Run The Vacuum In The Bathroom
You know what's worse than hearing a motor running at 6 a.m. next door? Hearing a vacuum motor that's running across hard tile. Hey, you have to clean up those pesky bathroom hairs, right?
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Blast The Tunes
When staging a sonic assault, use the Flashdance soundtrack with the speakers pointed down to the floor. For extra resentment, put it on "repeat," mix the bass, and leave for the day.
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Play Loud Video Games
Super Smash Bros., GoldenEye (64) or Halo are perfect for pissing off your neighbors. The more blowing up, the better. Blast the bass.
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Crank The Guitar Up To 11
It doesn't matter if you're not an ax shredder; the worse you are at the instrument, the better.
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