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We know that nobody wants to be having terrible sex of any kind. Believe us, we know a few things about bad sex. But beyond that, there’s a whole realm of horrific sex you never want to be having that could easily supersede the unforgivable, limp-dick moments of the past.
Whether you struggle with near-impossible sex positions or just the easy ones, these kinds of coitus will leave you breathless, but not in the way you might like. From Third-Wheel Uber Sex to Shameful Crying Sex, there are more than enough ways to a night of unfortunate intercourse.
Don’t believe us? Well, you are in for a real treat (which is something you might hear during Clown Sex). Not since the night that you gave your broken flower to another miserable soul have you experienced what you’re about to experience. But don’t worry, we included Virgin Sex, too.
Have a gander at 12 kinds of bad sex you never want to be having in this life, both a forewarning and possible foreshadowing. If you can think of kinds of sex worse than these, be sure to let us know. And we apologize in advance if all this bad sex hits a little too close to home.
Bad Sex
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Shameful Crying Sex
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Third Wheel Uber Sex
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Big Guy, Little Woman, Tiny Tub Sex
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This Plane Is Going Down Sex
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Not-So-Deserted Island Sex
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Anything Clown Sex
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Defective Sex Doll Sex
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Creepy Scientologist John Travolta Sex
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Phyllis Vance Sex
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Virgin Sex
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Captain Winky Sex
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Incestuous Mr. President Sex