Photo: Anchiy (Getty)
Timeless phrases are the groups of words that define our lives on a daily basis, and they never go out of style. However, millennials have their very own unique style, so in order to help those little buggers whilst they twirl their goofy mustaches and put together their weird ensembles, we thought we’d redefine some of the most timeless phrases to match the millennial mindset. You’re welcome, rapscallions.
All the outdated phrases that your mother still uses (just heard my neighbor ask someone how their Dr. Martens were working out), albeit she’s a lot wiser and hipper than you’ll ever be, can be refitted and repurposed to match those pointless suspenders holding up your skin-tight jeans and the flannel shirt you wear in the dead of summer.
If you’re a millennial or have the millennial mindset and need something ubiquitous yet fit to your unique style, we’ve got the best of the best timeless phrases redefined for your personal benefit. There’s Larry David, vegan and texting jokes, as well as Cheech and Chong, if you have any idea who those guys are.
10 Timeless Phrases Redefined To Match Your Millennial Mindset
Read good read: If You’re Too Young For Gen X And Too Old For Millennial, You Might Be A ‘Xennial’
Timeless Phrases
-
"Slow & Steady Wins the Race"
Redefined: Smoke your vape pen with consistency and eventually good things will happen, eventually.
-
"A Watched Pot Never Boils"
Redefined: Staring into your Netflix will not make new seasons of Stranger Things appear.
-
"Think Before You Act"
Redefined: Edit before you send text.
-
"If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say, Don't Say Anything"
Redefined: If you have something mean to say, use emojis. They're less vindictive.
-
"All's Fair in Love & War"
Redefined: Dating your best friend's ex is passable if you meet on a dating app.
-
"A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words"
Redefined: A failed selfie is worth all the words.
-
"Honesty Is the Best Policy"
Redefined: Larry David is your personal Jesus.
-
"...Teach a Man to Fish and Feed Him for a Lifetime"
Redefined: Tell someone you're vegan and never get invited to another Friendsgiving.
-
"One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Treasure"
Redefined: Pay off your new iPhone by selling your old iPhone to your clumsy friend who just dropped his new iPhone.
-
"Time Flies When You're Having Fun"
Redefined: That vape pen was way stronger than the last one I tried. What month is it now?
