Why is pumpkin spice still a thing? We’re pretty sure we all agreed it was awful after a particular corporate behemoth invented the pumpkin spice latte. Since then, pumpkin spice foods have continued to infiltrate more and more grocery store shelves every year.
We can forgive a few of the breakfast items; pumpkin spice might not interfere with the deliciousness of pancakes, waffles, and even oatmeal. But Pop-Tarts? Come on. Even a thick layer of frosting can’t make up for the filling inside. And whose idea was it to expand the pumpkin spice empire to savory snacks like Triscuits? Are we supposed to dip them in pumpkin spice hummus? (Another odious invention.) All those contradictory tastes require a palate cleanser, preferably not in the form of a pumpkin spice Hershey’s kiss.
Please, Frankenfood creators, cease the pumpkin spice insanity! To make our case why pumpkin spice needs to die, we ranked the worst pumpkin spice flavored foods, from the mildly disgusting to the downright gag-worthy.
Worst Pumpkin Spice Ranked
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14. Pumpkin Spice Waffles
L'Eggo my Eggo? Maybe not. These pumpkin spice waffles are as palatable as pumpkin spice food can be. Just don't get any ideas about topping them with pumpkin spice flavored whipped cream, syrup, or butter.
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13. Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal
Okay, we'll admit it: pumpkin spice oatmeal probably tastes pretty good on a crisp autumn morning. And if it doesn't, we can drown out the flavor with milk -- one of the few remaining things not available in pumpkin spice flavor.
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12. Pumpkin Spice Cheerios
Ah, the childhood memory of eating a big bowl of Cheerios and wishing it tasted like...something! Anything! But was this what we had in mind? Probably not. Keep experimenting, Cheerios. You'll get a winner eventually.
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11. Pumpkin Spice Cinnamon Rolls
Cinnamon rolls. Everything you need is right there in the name. Roll on, pumpkin spice. Nobody wants your sassy flavoring interfering with perfection.
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10. Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows
Marshmallows are for s'mores, hot cocoa, and making Rice Krispies treats. None of those treats is enhanced by pumpkin spice. You're a one-trick pony, marshmallows. Stop trying to be something more.
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9. Pumpkin Spice Hershey's Kisses
Pumpkin spice and chocolate aren't sworn enemies, per se, but Hershey's is really trying too hard with this autumnal take on Kisses. We all know kisses are best when uncomplicated.
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8. Pumpkin Spice Milanos
Milano cookies are made to be dipped in coffee or milk. Do you really want pumpkin spice mucking up that simple cookie-chocolate combo? The simple answer: no!
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7. Pumpkin Spice Yogurt
Greek yogurt is a tough sell. Dyeing the gut-friendly health food orange and injecting it with pumpkin spice doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Let's stick to fruit flavors from here on out.
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6. Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts
You're not fooling anyone by referencing pumpkin pie instead of pumpkin spice in your marketing campaign, Pop Tarts. We know what nastiness resides within those flaky layers. The autumnal sprinkles were warning sign enough.
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5. Pumpkin Spice Oreos
Oreo can't help itself. The brand threw out its tried-and-true formula to become a trend chaser. This is the unfortunate result.
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4. Pumpkin Spice Mini-Wheats
We can barely choke down Mini Wheats under the usual, frosted circumstances. Doused in pumpkin, they're just a bowl of choking hazard waiting to happen.
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3. White Pumpkin Pie M&Ms
Dear M&Ms: What exactly is white pumpkin pie? It sounds simultaneously unappetizing and un-woke. If you're trying to psych us into taking a chance on your crazy flavor combinations, consider this a fail.
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2. Pumpkin & Spice Triscuits
Triscuit, we hate to break it to you, but nobody ever liked you. In the same way that sprinkling pumpkin spice on cardboard doesn't disguise anything, this seasonal makeover isn't fooling anyone.
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1. Pumpkin Spice Hummus
The beauty of hummus is in its subtlety. Put pumpkin spice in there and you won't be able to taste anything else. Who did this to you, hummus? Who?!
