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So, you’ve just come out of a long, serious relationship and don’t want to start another one right away. Instead, you’ve decided to enjoy life a bit more and see what it has to offer. Of course, the best way to do it is to dedicate yourself to physical pleasures, mainly sex. That is why you need to acquaint yourself (if you haven’t already) with the concept of casual sex. The idea is to enjoy sex with no strings attached and no unnecessary emotions. Obviously, you need to find a partner that shares your thoughts on this, but it’s not as rare as you might think. Let’s take it step by step.
Finding a Partner
In order to make it work, you need to find a girl who’s in the same state of mind as you. Go to a party or a concert and find someone you’re attracted to and find out if she feels the same. The best thing about casual sex is that “the selection process” is a bit more simple. If you both find each other attractive, that’s pretty much it. You don’t need to think about your compatibility in anything other than sex. Chances are your relationship will end the night you leave her place. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something a bit more frequent, you should perhaps focus on your circle of friends. You probably have at least one female friend with whom you’ve always wanted to get on but didn’t want a relationship. Well, try to find the right moment to mention it to her and she might just say yes. The best thing about it is that you both remain friends (but with benefits).
Agreeing on Terms
It is generally a good idea to discuss the terms before doing the deed or, at least, after the first time. Sit your partner down and talk about what just happened (over a bottle of wine if you think it will make it a bit less awkward). You need to agree on the idea of casual sex and everything it entails. This means that there should be no emotional attachment and no long term plans of any kind. It is also a good idea to limit your interactions just to your (or her) bedroom. That way your brain will be able to discern a casual sexual relationship from a meaningful, long term one. You don’t want it to start mixing up those signals. If you both don’t agree with these terms, don’t even start this affair. It isn’t worth it.
Bad Sides
Of course, as it is with most things, there are some bad sides to casual sex that you need to be aware of from the start. First of all, a casual relationship might give you all the physical satisfaction you need, but you might still feel emotionally unfulfilled. That is why you shouldn’t overdo it. Try to realize when it’s enough of fun without commitment and when you’re ready for something more meaningful. The same goes for your partner. If you see that she’s starting to fall for you, it’s better to break it off as soon as possible. There’s nothing worse than losing a friend due to unrequited love, so if you cut at its core, you might avoid it. Another bad side is that when you decide to have sex with a stranger, you never really know what you’re going to get. There are a number of casual sex apps out there like Tinder, but you don’t get much info until you meet them in person. Even then, who knows how crazy she might be (think Fatal Attraction).
Now that you’ve gone through some of the basics of casual sex, you can decide whether it’s for you or not. Tell us your experiences, if you’ve got any.
