Sex With The Ex? Good Or Bad Idea?

Photo: WANDER WOMEN COLLECTIVE(Getty Images)

It’s late at night, your excessive swiping and thoughtful “What’s up?” messaging on Tinder wasn’t fruitful so your mind starts wandering off to better times when sex was available and constant. So naturally, you start to flip through the ex-girlfriend catalog of your mind and to weigh in on your options on who to call and if to call them at all. This battle of good and evil, past and future with the present can be very consuming and draining, so we thought on helping you solve this eternal dilemma by listing the pros and the cons.

The “you need sex” pro argument which is omnipresent in female versions of this article will not be mentioned here, as that is the starting point, not the reason for.

Sex With the Ex – Yay

1. It’s Convenient

The main reason you’re even considering hooking up with your ex is because it’s so easy and attainable, the only thing you have to do is to text her “What’s up? Wanna come over?”. The Casanova-like sentence that won’t do you much even with the thirstiest of Tinder girls. You don’t need to assure the girl you’re not a serial killer, you don’t have to draw her a map to your crib, you don’t even have to be pretty representative as the ex probably already saw you at your worst. A short phone call is the most you’ll need to do in order to have some sex with ex. And if she declines you’re basically just where you were 5 minutes ago. Laughing at dating memes online.

2. Guaranteed Quality

If you were in a longer relationship with a girl that means that your sex was at least acceptable, but in most cases, it was awesome as nobody wants to be with someone if their sex is meh, regardless of how good of a person they are. So hooking up with an ex is a much safer bet than looking for a random hook up online, as you might end up with a starfish or a girl who says “I don’t do that” a lot. You already know what your ex likes, or at least you should, and she knows what gets you going, so the sex should satisfy you.

3. Freedom

Every person has the things that he or she wants to do with their significant other, but the uncertainty of their response prevents them from doing it. Maybe a fear that an uncommon fetish can destroy your relationship, or that a compliment will be understood as double-handed. Well, there’s almost nothing to destroy when you’re not dating, so bring out that box from your closet and start getting kinky. Sex with the ex is also great if you want to try out some new moves and see how they gauge in comparison to your earlier sexual encounters.

Sex with the Ex – Nay

1. You Get Stuck

Going back to past never sounds right, and that’s for a reason. Instead of focusing on finding new people you might have a future with, by hooking up with an ex your turning to a relationship that is already finished. Sure some may even get back together, but that’s not why you initially started the sex with ex adventure, and most of these rekindled relationships fall apart even worse. By draining your sexual energy on what is basically a dead end, you’ll skip over too many possible more promising mates.

2. Someone Might Get Hurt

Desperate times ask for desperate measures, but you should really consider how thirsty are you, as hooking up with your ex can result in some of you getting hurt badly, again. You might think that you’re over her and that you can finally have sex without getting emotional, but the first smell of her and you’ll be back to downing your friends for another two months. Or it might be the other way around and you’ll cause pain to her as she might think that the hook-up call is something more tahn that. Before you know it you’ll be listening to Drake and searching his memes in order to postpone the suicide.

3. Unclosure

Even if both of you were on the same track when you broke up and no one wanted to continue the relationship, the act of getting intimate again can and will wake up those feelings of closeness. Some might even misidentify them as stronger emotions like love, so a closed book might be opened without the desire of both parties to continue to read it. In affect, this can damage the whatever type of a relationship you had after the break-up. Maybe looking up the cutest pornstars out there is a better short-term option.