Here’s a superhero you probably won’t see at ComicCon this year.
According to The Smoking Gun, some dude dressed as a ninja and wearing a sweet set of Vibram FiveFingers kicks has been masturbating outside of the same Seattle residence since January, scaring and likely scarring the bejesus out of the University of Washington students who live there.
One of the women who lives there called 911 in January when she spotted the “masked masturbator” punching his clown “outside the front door of her home.” Then in February, a night vision camera captured the dude once again burping his worm outside the door.
Police said the students have “heard suspicious sounds outside their house on several other occasions” and think the same dude is responsible for those incidents, as well. In all, authorities believe the monkey spanker has yanked his crank outside of the home at least four times.
In a related story, if you know the poor kids who live at this house and have a group study session there later this week, you might want to think about entering the home through the window. Either that, or let them open the door from the inside when you get there.
Masturbating in public is usually reserved for Florida Man: Florida Man Arrested For Masturbating Inside A Burger King
