A Sexually Beneficial Education On Erections

Photo: Dreamworks Pictures

An erection goes by many names — boner, trouser snake, woody, hard-on, bone daddy, you get the idea — and this dangly, veiny male genitalia can be just as fascinating as it is ugly. And boy is it ugly. While a man’s penis may not be as sexually complex as a vagina, there are still some key pieces of information to know about the almighty boner that will benefit you in the bedroom, and these are those things.

The Truth About Growers And Showers

Every man on the planet would like to be considered a “shower” (meaning, when soft, the guy’s wiener is large flaccid and even larger when hard). However, as fate would have it, the majority of men would be labeled “growers,” which means their penis is on the smaller side when flaccid, but grows exponentially when erect. This information was discovered through an international Men’s Health survey that reported 79 percent of men fell within the grower category.

Prior to this, the Kinsey Institute discovered that a grower’s penis will generally lengthen more than a shower’s when erect; meaning, when hard, most growers and showers measure within the average genital size range of four to six inches. Showers just happen to fill out boxer-briefs better. Those bastards.

Boners Can Be Broken – Well, Kind Of

Despite containing no bone whatsoever, the inappropriately named boner can indeed be broken. Though what occurs is more accurately labeled a fracture, this kind of injury happens when a man engages in rougher sex and his erection is bent to an extreme angle, and the resulting pressure then tears the lining of his manhood. Experts have suggested the penile fracture is most likely to occur in the Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl position. That, or when a man thrusts too hard and stabs the lady’s perineum. The sound this fracture makes is likened to a “crack” and men will experience immense pain as their penis turns black and blue, and will sometimes urinate blood. Men who have fractured their penises are encouraged to visit the ER within three days of the injury to avoid scarring.

An Erection Can Be Made Bigger Without Surgery

It might be a hard sell, but asking a guy to quit masturbating can greatly benefit a lady in the boudoir as more blood will make its way to his wiener, and he will possess a larger, harder boner according to sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., and author of “She Comes First.” To break this information to your man, Kerner tells Women’s Health to say something playful like “You feel so full right now — you must not have been looking at your computer for a few days.” Or, if that’s too much (which, as a guy, kind of is), challenge each other to see who can go longest without masturbating.

Kerner also found that the more a man is turned on, the likelier he is to boast a bigger boner. This means you should encourage foreplay before intercourse and try new things he’s mentioned in conversation — in the end, it ultimately benefits both of you so you might as well give it a shot! Other reputable size enhancers according to the Internet and its many experts are: pelvic massages, a healthy diet (more fruits and veggies!), cock rings and hot showers.

Why Are Some Erections Curved?

Kerner told Women’s Health, “a little bit of curvature in the penis is not at all abnormal.” The curve of a guy’s penis falls somewhere from completely straight to a little bent — if he curves upward, ladies: you’re in luck, as he’ll have better access to the G-spot! This curvature, in most cases, won’t cause any pain. However, should the curve be more extreme, this man may have what’s known as Peyronie’s disease, which is characterized by abnormal hardening of the scar tissue inside the penis and mostly affects men over 40. This may happen after a man has fractured his penis (see above). Not much else is known about the disease, but if your man boasts an abnormal curve, he should head on over to the urologist.

Let’s Talk About Semen

When a man ejaculates, he shoots his seed at 28 mph. However, when sperms enters the vagina, it won’t travel this fast, because, as Men’s Health puts it, it’s akin to four lanes merging into one. In his lifetime, a man will manufacture about 14 gallons of sperm. As for pre-cum — which a man will secrete before he ejaculates — this material serves quite the purpose as well. A small gland at the base of his wiener produces what’s known as pre-seminal fluid, this is what’s ejected before ejaculation. This fluid essentially aids the sperm in traveling safely through the vagina. It also attacks existing urine in the urethra, which can greatly damage the sperm.