Here’s A South Carolina Cop Accused Of Masturbating In His Patrol Car

February 23, 2016

Let’s be honest: If he’s got time to do that, then the streets of Camden, South Carolina, must be pretty damn peaceful these days.

According to Fox 8, a 41-year-old Camden police officer has been charged with misconduct in office as well as “malfeasance, misfeasance, or nonfeasance” after he was witnessed punching his clown in his patrol car while on duty in mid-December.

Investigators said Marshall Lee Hardin II was seen “pleasuring himself” inside his cruiser that was ironically parked at Woodward Park.

According to the criminal complaint, Hardin “was watching adult pornography on his personal cell phone while rubbing his penis through his uniform pants. After a period of time, Hardin exited his marked patrol car and pulled his penis out of his uniform pants to ‘stroke his penis two times.’ Hardin put his penis back in his pants and went into the restroom in the public park to finish ejaculating.”

And that, kids, is why Officer Hardin is no longer a member of the Camden police force. Any questions?

On second thought, hold the mayo on my Whopper please: Florida Man Arrested For Masturbating Inside A Burger King

Tommy Gimler is a stand-up comedian, musician, writer, emcee and all-around good guy. He has worked hundreds of stages across the country, including those at The Laugh Factory, The World Famous Comedy Store and dozens of Improvs.

Tommy has had the pleasure of emceeing events for amazing clients such as Budweiser, Mitsubishi, Chase, Discovery, Animal Planet in front of thousands of people at events like the Super Bowl, X Games, U.S. Open, Little League World Series.