Is that a stolen package of trout valued at $130 in your piss-soaked pants, or are you just happy to see me?
According to The Leaf-Chronicle, a 56-year-old Clarksville man was arrested on the afternoon of February 11 at a local Walmart after employees caught him urinating on the floor in the alcohol section while attempting to stuff a package of trout in his pants at the same time.
Police said David Wylie admitted that he “indeed urinated on the floor” and consumed alcohol, but he didn’t seem too concerned about the charges of public intoxication, indecent exposure, vandalism and shoplifting because they were all “only misdemeanors.”
Police valued the trout Wylie attempted to shove down his drawers at $130 and the vandalism at just 10 bucks, which is probably the amount of cash the store paid the kid on duty to mop up his piss.
In a related story, never settle for the manager’s special on trout. There’s always a good reason why it’s suddenly 80 percent off.
Here’s why Uncle Jeff can’t fly on JetBlue anymore: Some Dude Peed All Over Passengers On A JetBlue Flight
