Hi ladies — So it looks as though your relationship is going really well. You two have been together for a while, he’s met your family, and he’s agreed to stop referring to the people he plays Xbox Live with as “da crew.” Everything seems to be perfect and, judging by the subtle hints he’s been giving like, “Hey what size ring do you wear?” or “Do you want to go in this jewelry store and tell me some engagement rings you like?” it seems as though he’s going to propose soon.
This is a good thing! (Images via YouTube)
Two people have found each other in a sea of billions of other people and decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. That’s tougher odds than winning the lottery, getting struck by lightning, or Target having all of their checkout lines open when you’re in a hurry. You’ve truly defied the odds. The only thing left now is for you to say yes, right?
Well, not so fast.
You see the process of asking someone to marry you is a huge moment. It should be carefully planned and make you feel truly special, like this entire day is all about you. Trust me, I’ve proposed several times and they were all great. Obviously they weren’t too great because all of those relationships fell apart in dramatic fashion while costing me literally tens of thousands of dollars, but that’s neither here nor there. This is your special day. That’s why it’s completely unacceptable for your boyfriend to propose on Valentine’s Day. Not only should you be upset by this, you should absolutely tell him no. I’m not saying to break up, but if he’s this lazy in his offer to wed you, then what’s that marriage going to be like? Is he ONLY going to give you gifts on your birthday and Christmas? Does this mean the ONLY time you get breakfast in bed and a day off from the kids is on Mother’s Day? Is he ONLY going to hide eggs in your yard on Easter? It’s all completely unacceptable.
You might be thinking, “But Rob, what if he makes reservations at a nice restaurant and does some sort of grand gesture?” First of all, please stop interrupting. Second, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do a grand romantic gesture on Valentine’s Day, you dork.
Literally everywhere you go is decorated with hearts and symbols of love. CVS looks like it’s set up for a Sadie Hawkins Dance. Should he just plop down on his JNCO-covered knee and ask for your hand in marriage in line at CVS while you’re buying soap? Is that what you want? Of course not. Proposing on Valentine’s Day is like egging someone’s house on Halloween. It’s completely uninspired, predictable and something no one outside of your house is going to be excited about. Do you really want to be 1 of 86,000 women to get proposed to at the Cheesecake Factory on Valentine’s Day? No you do not.
Not only is it lazy, it’s also a total copout on your boyfriend’s part. Everyone knows you’re going to do something nice and romantic for Valentine’s Day, so by cramming the proposal in there he’s made it to where he doesn’t have to do an additional romantic day for you. If you were born around Christmas would you really want him to give you a combo present that counted for your birthday AND Christmas? Don’t even get me started on how furious you should be if your Christmas present was an engagement ring. That’s like if your best friend worked at H&R Block and gave you a 30% off coupon to H&R Block for your birthday. “Wow thanks. This must have really taken a lot of effort and thought to put together.”
You want your day to be special. How many of your friends posted engagement announcements on Facebook last Valentine’s Day? It’s probably way too many. An engagement should be celebrated and a special moment for you to stand in the spotlight. Restaurants have proposal packages for Valentine’s Day. You can’t get any lazier than that. You’re basically on an engagement conveyor belt churning couples in and out of the Macaroni Grill.
Now by no means am I suggesting your boyfriend should spend an absurd amount of money in order for it to be a respectable proposal because lord knows he already spent the cost of a gently used Honda Accord to slap that rock on your finger. This isn’t about money. It’s about effort. He could surprise you at work or plan a picnic in the park or do it at the end of a hike. Absolutely anything is better than proposing on Valentine’s Day. He could tell you that he thinks your dog fell down a well and then when you run out to check, someone with long, stringy black hair like the girl from The Ring crawls out and chases you across the yard. When they finally corner you and you think you’re about to get murdered by a ghost demon he could pull off the wig and reveal that it was him. Then he reaches behind your ear, while you’re still sobbing and thanking God for your life not coming to an end. “What’s back here?” he asks. Then he pulls out a ¼ ct. princess cut diamond ring from Jared’s. Even that nightmare scenario is better than him putting a ring in your champagne at the end of your Valentine’s Day dinner at Olive Garden.
You deserve the best. This is your one proposal and you shouldn’t allow it to fall on the one day out of the year that’s already dedicated to romance.
And just think; if you find a great guy and he pulls off the ultimate proposal on a day you never expected there’s still only a 50/50 chance it’ll go up in flames! Live, laugh, love.
More reasons to just say no: Valentine’s Day Horror Stories Remind Us That Love Isn’t Always Rainbows
