Here’s one guy who wishes the Internet didn’t exist.
According to The Smoking Gun, a 43-year-old Tennessee man was recently arrested in Surgoinsville after he was spotted masturbating on a fishing pier in broad daylight.
Police Chief James Hammonds said he spotted David Kimbrough exiting a minivan (of course) and making his way toward a fishing pier on the morning of November 17. Once Kimbrough reached the pier, he “began to expose his genitals and masturbate.”
Hammonds said he approached the perv as he made his way back to the minivan and noticed he was “carrying a tube of Vaseline and had several pair of panties stuffed and rolled up and placed at his chest area to mimic female breasts.” He was also wearing pantyhose and a thong.
Hammonds arrested Kimbrough for indecent exposure but soon noticed he was in a lot of pain. It was at that point that Kimbrough informed him that he also had an enema bottle jammed up his ass that needed to be removed.
Kimbrough pled guilty and was ordered to pay a $500 fine, which, everything considered, seems like a hell of a deal.
Fast food value menus can be so damn hot: Florida Man Arrested For Masturbating Inside A Burger King
