Of course, the new technology won’t do you any good if you keep missing the urinal, fellas.
According to Gizmodo, an assistant professor and graduate student at Utah State University have developed a urinal insert that acts as a “urine blackhole” and eliminates the splashback that usually turns your $250 pair of True Religion jeans into nothing more than piss-stained denim.
Tadd Truscott and Randy Hurd presented their findings in Boston last week at a meeting of the APSDFD, which of course stands for American Physical Society’s Division of Fluid Dynamics. They concluded that there are three types of urinal inserts, and while one definitely stands out above the rest, none of them are really doing the job.
There is an absorbent cloth that is designed to “keep splashing to a minimum,” but Truscott and Hurd said that if you see one of them, you’re better off moving to another urinal because it can’t absorb your piss fast enough, making the splashback even worse once it becomes saturated.
The second and third inserts are “honeycomb structures with pillars” and just “arrays of pillars,” but in both cases, those pillars are too short. The result is usually a collection of your urine in a little pool, which of course leads to wearing khakis being a really bad idea.
Truscott and Hurd decided to work with the array of pillars design, as it seemed to work best. Their solution was to make it out of a material that resembled Syntrichia caninervis, which of course is “sufficiently spongey to absorb water with very little splash.” Naturally, they chose vantablack, a material that has been dubbed “the blackest material ever made.”
Hence the term “urine blackhole.”
Of course, you’re still better off sitting down when you pee, but then you might as well throw your man card in the toilet as well.
