Horrible Study Suggests The Happiest Couples Have Sex Just Once A Week

What’s better than having sex once? You guessed it: Having it twice, three times and so on.

But according to the Daily Mail, a new study suggests that the happiest couples are having sex just once a week, and that sounds almost as disturbing as overhearing your sister say that she slept with Charlie Sheen.

Extremely patient researchers surveyed 30,000 people over 40 years and found that happiness levels increased in couples who had sex once a week. But those who were bumping uglies more than that? Not so much.

“Although more frequent sex is associated with greater happiness, this link was no longer significant at a frequency of more than once a week,” one Canadian researcher said. “Our findings suggest that it is important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, but you don’t need to have sex everyday as long as you’re maintaining that connection.”

Two other studies in the U.S. pretty much came to the same conclusion, and that’s just awful.

These guys seem pretty happy getting oral sex at football games: Redskins Fan Receives Oral Sex In Public While Watching The Game

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