It’s hard enough trying to find somewhere you want to eat on your own, but bring another person into the equation and it’s way more difficult. Make that other person your significant other, and now you’re in a full-on nightmare. These steps aren’t exactly going to be helpful with your future dinner endeavors, but they certainly are honest.
1. Load up in the car before you even start to figure it out. That way she can sort of look on Yelp and vaguely describe the restaurants while you’re driving.
2. Suggest a restaurant. You can name exactly what you’re in the mood for, but don’t worry; it’s not going to happen.
3. Ask her what she’s in the mood to eat. She’ll let you know that it doesn’t matter. She’s up for whatever.
4. Name three other restaurants you’d gladly dine at if she were interested. She’s not. She doesn’t give you any reason, but she assures you that she doesn’t want to eat there.
5. Start listing off the restaurants you’re about to pass. She doesn’t respond. Why? Because she’s texting. Great.
6. She’ll ask you to just pick whatever because she’s starving. Literally anything will work.
7. You see a taco place coming up on your left. You suggest it. She declines. Apparently “literally anything will work” doesn’t include tacos.
8. She suggests the French restaurant that just opened up, but it’s all the way on the other side of town and there’s a dress code, and you’re wearing cargo shorts and she’s wearing flip flops.
9. She gets frustrated.
10. You get frustrated.
11. For a few moments you start to blame it on each other and almost break up. If you can’t agree on tacos, then do you really have a chance of making it?
12. She suggests you go to that diner you both like. It’s the one with 24-hour breakfast.
13. It’s right next to your house. You guys could have seriously walked there. You actually do walk there all the time. Why did you spend all this time driving around?
14. You drive to the stupid breakfast diner.
15. You guys order the same things you always order.
16. While you’re eating she sees a photo on Facebook of her friends at the new French place across town. Then she looks over at you eating pancakes in cargo shorts. Where did it all go wrong? How did you both get to this point?
17. Hey, at least you’re not at Applebee’s, right??
Related: A Timeline Of Waiting For Your Wife To Leave For The Party
