Chinese Distillers Busted Adding Viagra To Their Booze

Your honor, we were just trying to make some hard liquor. Literally.

According to the BBC, two distillers in the southern Chinese city of Liuzhou are under investigation by local police after Viagra powder was found in thousands of bottles of a popular Chinese spirit known as baijiu.

Police seized more than 5,300 bottles of booze worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $113,000 along with packets of Sildenafil, which is better known as Viagra to those looking for help in the “massive, throbbing boners” department.

The Liuzhou Food and Drug Administration said the distillers added Viagra to three different types of baijiu and told consumers that it had “health-preserving qualities.”

It’s unknown exactly how the FDA was tipped off about the distillers’ secret ingredient, but our guess is that either penetration complaints on the dance floors at local clubs skyrocketed in the last month, or fans at local ping pong matches were unwillingly showing more excitement than usual during extended rallies.

Or maybe whiskey dick became insanely jealous and made an anonymous call to authorities.

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