I mean, why scatter your crimes over a matter of months or years when you can just get them all out of the way in one crazy night?
According to WKYC, one Ohio couple did just that early Saturday morning when they were arrested after taking a drunken, naked joyride through the village of Westlake.
When officers pulled over a vehicle that had reportedly hopped a curb and driven over a tree lawn, they found 24-year-old Alexandria Mauer buck naked behind the wheel eating a slice of pizza. A naked 33-year-old Kenneth Gillespie was next to her, but instead of stuffing his piehole with a slice of ‘za, he was cradling an open can of beer between his feet.
Police ordered the pair out of the car and told them to put on some clothes. Gillespie said he only had a sweatshirt and underwear, so officers gave him some shoes and an old pair of jail pants. He then proceeded to piss those clothes when the officers placed him in the back of a squad car.
Meanwhile, Mauer refused a breathalyzer and was arrested for DUI. A relative picked her up, but Mauer jumped out of the car sometime during the ride home. She was found “wandering along the road” just two hours later and arrested again for disorderly conduct while intoxicated.
‘Merica.
You can’t get naked and masturbate in traffic either. Even in Florida: Naked Florida Woman Arrested for Masturbating in Traffic
