Fame has its perks – oceans of cash, legions of followers, mile-long queues of women fluttering anxiously for an autograph on the boobies – and sometimes such privilege comes with slipping through the cracks of livid public scrutiny or even cheating lengthy prison sentences. Here are some of the most notorious examples of famous people causing immeasurable harm and somehow remaining spotless in the eyes of adoring fans, media and the world at large.
Liberace Was a Legit Pedo
Liberace’s career is adorned with two Emmy Awards, six gold albums, two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and a reckless sex/social life that inevitably led to his death in 1987. Orphan runaway Scott Thorson was 16 when he met Liberace, and he immediately sunk into the promiscuous drug-addled lifestyle Liberace celebrated. Thorson claims he and Liberace bumped uglies right after they met, making this a clear-cut case of statutory buggering.
‘Twas a creepy father-son romance, too: Liberace paid for extensive plastic surgery to make Thorson look like him, even though he was 40 years his junior. Michael Jackson later cozied up with Thorson as well, but that’s a whole other bag of pedophilic potato chips to be opened later.
On Elvis Presley: “Fourteen was a magical age with Elvis. It really was.”
Elvis called them “young cherries,” and he gravitated toward them with the irrepressibility of a crack addict on a coke farm. He met his future wife Priscilla Beaulieu when she was 14. Eighteen was simply too old for “The King.” He fooled around with Jackie Rowland, 14, whom he taught to “kiss in a grownup way,” Frances Forbes, 13, Sandy Ferra, 14, and Reeca Smith, 14.
Despite decades of apparent pederasty, Presley received a Lifetime Achievement Award at 36, three Grammy Awards, multiple inductions into the Hall of Fame and generations of adulation the world over.
Stepdaughter Claims Woody Allen Molested Her
Self-absorbed neurotic director-writer-comedian-actor Woody Allen possibly (probably) molested stepdaughter Dylan Farrow when she was seven. In 1993, Farrow was playing with her brother’s train set in Connecticut when Allen walked in and slid his fingers up her dress (as stated by Farrow). She hasn’t changed her story in two decades, and Allen went on to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award in 2014 at the Golden Globes.
Jay-Z Stabbed a Dude in the Stomach … With a Knife … a Sharp One
In Manhattan’s Kit Kat Club in 1999, Jay-Z became furious after hearing a bootleg copy of “Vol. 3: The Life and Times of S. Carter” had been leaked. All signs pointed to record producer L
ance “Un” Rivera as the culprit. Instead of politely asking whether the rumor were true, Mr. Carter jabbed his knife into Rivera’s abdomen.
He was initially sentenced to 15 years for felony assault, but because fame is invariably used as a tool for exculpation, he paid an undisclosed sum between $500,000 and $1 million to Rivera – which, in normal people’s money, would translate to roughly $161 to $322. Since then, this pretty-much attempted murderer has racked up 47 different awards including Grammy for Best Rap Album, a BET Award for Best Rap Artist and the time-honored Soul Train Award for Best Music Video.
The King of Pop Was the King of Popping Young Boys
Although everyone knows deep down Michael Jackson probably did what he did, the day
his scientifically engineered face laid to rest, it were as if a modern-day Jesus had died. Jackson spent $35 million covering up boys’ tales (tales, not tails). Child actor Wade Robson recently came out and claimed he was seven when Jackson began the horseplay, lasting until he was 14. “He performed sexual acts on me and forced me to perform sexual acts on him.”
When Jackson died, an online lottery attracted 1.2 million applicants to try to attend his memorial within 24 hours. Cultural icons Magic Johnson, Diana Ross, Nelson Mandela, Queen Latifah, Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder and Kobe Bryant gave fawning, glowing and stirring eulogies. And then NAMBLA inducted him into the Hall of Fame.
Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor Arrested for Possessing 650 Grams of Cocaine
I grew up watching “Home Improvement.” I had no idea my celluloid father figure pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges in 1976 for having 1.43 pounds of coke on his person. Tim Allen spent two years and four months at the Federal Correctional Facility in Sandstone, Minnesota – time presumably spent perfecting the art of carpentry. Subsequently, Allen was arrested in 1997 for drunk driving after blowing a respectable .15.
Marky Mark: The Vietcong Slayer
Mark Wahlberg is a badass. He makes that abundantly clear in his movies. However, did you know that in 1987 he once blinded a diminutive Vietnamese man with a large wooden stick? Hurling racial epithets, Wahlberg attacked two Saigon immigrants. He released “Good Vibrations” with the Funky Bunch four years later and is now everyone’s favorite bad-acting multimillionaire.
For one more example of an awful yet disregarded crime committed by a celeb, check out #11 of this: 11 Totally Adorable Facts About Hardcore Gangsta Rappers
