Texas Supermarket Tried to Sell Bull Penis as Human Food

Finally, it looks like we have found something worse than eating Taco Bell.

According to KXAN, a Texas supermarket recently tried to sell bull penis to its customers and even went as far as labeling it as human food.

MT Supermarket in Austin might soon find itself empty after the Texas Attorney General’s Office slapped them with a lawsuit for selling “non-inspected, adulterated and misbranded beef pizzle as human food.”

For those not up to speed with their animal penis terminology, “pizzle” is another word for a bull’s boom stick. It is most commonly used to make chewable dog toys as well as specialty glues. Poor Fido.

The lawsuit is calling for $5,000 in fines against the supermarket as well as several employees, but let’s be honest. If I’m one of the poor bastards who ate some pizzle because your store labeled it as “food,” you better have at least $5 million ready to fork over. I mean, this isn’t an episode of “Fear Factor.”

While we can’t be for certain, here’s to at least hoping the supermarket still would have sued even if the bull’s penis would have been inspected and unadulterated.

We’re not sure how this works if you eat one: Somebody is Finally Offering Penis Insurance

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