Please keep in mind that Paris Hilton has herpes, a saggy eye, comically oversized feet, and looks like Big Bird if Big Bird had a bombed out vagina, so imagine what she would say if a radio station asked her if she would rather have Jessica Simpson’s rack or Kim Kardashian’s ass. Surprise! She said:
On Kim Kardashian’s ass:
“I would not want that, that’s gross. It’s disgusting.”…”It reminds me of cottage cheese inside of a big trash bag.”On Jessica Simpson’s breasts:
“I like how mine are. I don’t like big boobs, I think they’re too… big.”
Man, I wonder what kind of frame Paris has for her magic mirror. It’s gorgeous, I bet.
Audio clip via Extra
Paris Hilton’s saggy, out of shape butt flaps:
Paris Hilton’s flat chest:
paris-hilton-butt-flap
8 Actors Who Played More Than One Superhero
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Jim Carrey as The Mask and Colonel Stars and Stripes
Jim Carrey starred in The Mask, an adaptation of an obscure Dark Horse Comics character, and one of the three films in 1994 that made him an international comedy sensation. (The other two: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Dumb & Dumber.)
19 years later, he played the powerless vigilante Colonel Stars and Stripes in Kick-Ass 2, a film Carrey later disowned for being too violent. And, presumably, not being very good.
Winner: The Mask
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Doug Jones as Pencilhead, Abe Sapien and Silver Surfer
Famed physical performer Doug Jones first donned tights to play the hero Pencilhead in the 1999 comedy Mystery Men, but he gained more notoriety as the erudite icthyoid Abe Sapien in Hellboy (2004, voiced by David Hyde Pierce) and Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008).
He also lent his otherworldly movements to Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), as the harbinger of Galactus (voiced by Laurence Fishburne).
Winner: Abe Sapien
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Halle Berry as Storm and Catwoman
Halle Berry was arguably the biggest name in the first X-Men movie, back when nobody knew who Hugh Jackman or Sir Ian McKellan were. She's reprised her role as the mutant Storm in two sequels, and the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past.
She also tried to start a whole new Catwoman franchise with French director Pitof, who transformed the Batman villain into a horrifically-costumed hero with cat powers. Meow-ch.
Winner: Storm
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Ryan Reynolds as Hannibal King, Deadpool and Green Lantern
Ryan Reynolds has played three comic book superheroes, the wise-cracking Hannibal King in the awful Blade: Trinity, the wise-cracking Deadpool in the awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and the wise-cracking Green Lantern in the awful Green Lantern.
In his defense, Reynolds is the best part of each of these movies, but that's not saying much.
Winner: Deadpool, at least until the movie's stupid ending.
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Chris Evans as The Human Torch and Captain America
Chris Evans was well cast as the troublemaking, womanizing, thrill-seeking Johnny Storm in the two Fantastic Four movies, even if he didn't have much to do in them.
He was even better cast as the do-gooder lead in Captain America: The First Avenger, a movie that made corniness seem cool.
Winner: Captain America
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Ray Stevenson as The Punisher and Volstagg
Ray Stevenson was spectacular in the abysmal Punisher: War Zone, exuding the vigilante's tragedy and physical menace in equal measure.
So it's weird that he was also so lovable as the swashbuckling, over-eating Volstagg in Thor.
Winner: The Punisher, but Stevenson deserved a much better movie than he got.
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Nicolas Cage as Ghost Rider and Big Daddy
Nicolas Cage tried to play Superman years before, but finally got his big comic book role in 2007's Ghost Rider, which sucked. 2012's Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was better, crazier, and still not "that" great.
But as Big Daddy in the original Kick-Ass, Cage's craziness was fittingly sad and hilarious as a father training his little girl for mass murder.
Winner: Big Daddy
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Ben Affleck as Daredevil and Batman
Ben Affleck accepted the role of Daredevil in a movie closely based on the Marvel superhero's greatest story, about the love of his life and how revenge destroyed their futures. It sucked, but mostly because of the lackluster direction.
Now he's playing Batman in the upcoming Superman vs. Batman movie.
Winner: Batman, we hope, we hope, we hope.
